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Parties who go through a divorce often attend therapy or join a support group to help them cope with the process, but children rarely go through the same type of counseling because they are seen as “resilient.” Alternatively, parents may assume that their child is not suffering any ill effects from the divorce because they are not displaying any symptoms at that time. Sadly, this may not be the case. Learn more about how divorce counseling can help reduce the chances of maladjustment in children experiencing divorce, and discover how a seasoned divorce lawyer can further minimize their risks.
Kids and Divorce - Understanding the Risks
Although it is true that many children do eventually recover from the emotional trauma of divorce, and only a small percentage suffer serious ill effects, there are some pretty significant risks that parents should know about. Perhaps the most notable is the risk of juvenile delinquency among children of divorce, which can impact children of almost any age and even years after the divorce has ended. Many children also suffer academically, and they may withdraw from their social circles or stop participating in extracurricular activities. Studies also suggest that children may be at an increased risk of relationship issues later in life, and their immune system may take a serious hit because of the stress, which can make them more prone to illness as an adult.
When your dream of a happy marriage becomes a nightmare, it can be difficult to discern whether leaving is a good idea - especially since so many of the horror stories of abuse involve a woman trying to leave her abusive husband. Thankfully, there are protections available to abused women. Learn more about them in the following sections and discover some tips on keeping yourself safe while trying to leave an abusive marriage, including how a seasoned divorce lawyer can assist with the legal aspects of your case.
Take Time to Adequately Prepare for the Separation
Although there are circumstances in which you have to leave to ensure your safety, it is usually better if you take the time to adequately prepare for the separation, long before your spouse catches wind of your desire to leave. Start by saving your own money in a separate bank account. It is also recommended that you keep a copy of your driver’s license, social security, birth certificate, and banking information with a trusted party, such as a close friend or family member. If at all possible, try to also store clothing and personal items with this person, as it will ensure you have what you need if the relationship suddenly becomes more violent.
Divorce can be a costly endeavor, especially for the wealthy. Thankfully, there are ways to protect your assets during the process. Learn more in the following sections, including how a seasoned divorce lawyer can improve your chances of a favorable outcome in your Illinois divorce.
Financially Prepare by Tracking Your Income and Expenses
Although you may eventually recover from the financial hit of a divorce, odds are, you will need to scale back your lifestyle for a while. Ensure that you are adequately prepared for this by tracking your income and expenses before you file. See where you can make budget cuts, and be mindful of any money that may be owed to your spouse (i.e. child support and alimony). An experienced divorce lawyer can help in gauging what you may be obligated to pay. Also, be aware that the tax laws will be changing in 2019, so the credits that were once given to alimony payers will no longer exist.
Divorce can dredge up a lot of anger and resentment toward your spouse - especially if you are not the one who filed. Yet, as a parent, it is critical that you remember your child is the innocent party, and they need love and support from both their parents to help them cope. Increase your chances of meeting their needs by avoiding the saying the following things to your child during and after the divorce process, and discover how a seasoned divorce lawyer can further decrease the chances that your child will suffer from maladjustment issues down the road.
Your Mother/Father is a “Deadbeat” (and Other Negative Names)
Children are half of each parent, so when one parent attacks the other, the child may start to think that there is something wrong with them as well. So, regardless of what your ex is doing (or has done in the past) do your best to try and keep your opinions about them to yourself. If you need to talk about your spouse’s behavior or the details of the divorce, turn to family or friends who are on your side or make an appointment with a therapist or with a support group. Just make sure that your child is not within earshot when discussing such issues.
Divorce can be a stressful and taxing process - so much so that it may impact your health, mental well-being, and relationships with friends and family. Thankfully, it is possible to reduce your stress levels during divorce. Learn more in the following sections, including how the assistance of a seasoned Illinois divorce attorney can improve the overall outcome of your case.
Gearing Up for the Divorce
Odds are, you know about the divorce before the proceedings begin. Use this time wisely and you could improve your ability to cope once the real action starts. For example, you could seek out therapy and a support group so that you are emotionally prepared to navigate negotiations with your spouse. Making a budget and appropriately planning for your financial future can also help to ease money-related stress while you are preparing for the divorce process.
Self-Care During and After Divorce
Studies have consistently shown that women are often the ones to initiate divorce, but what are their reasons? A recent survey, conducted by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, asked 43,000 divorced and single parent women about the reasons they ended their marriage. The following covers their top three answers, and it provides you with some strategies that you can use if you suspect that your spouse may be about to file for an Illinois divorce.
Top Three Reasons Women Seek Divorce
The path to divorce is highly personal, and every situation is unique. Yet, as the survey revealed, there are some commonalities that women share in divorce, at least in respect to the reasons why they file. The top reason was differing life goals between partners. For example, a woman nearing her retirement age may realize that she wants to travel, but her already retired husband may only want to stay home and relax all day. The second biggest reason that women file for divorce is infidelity, and the third biggest reason is constant arguing.
When you are in the midst of a divorce, ensuring that you have a lawyer on your side can significantly improve the overall outcome of your case. Unfortunately, many disadvantaged spouses believe they cannot hire one because they do not have direct access to the money or assets from their marriage. Thankfully, there are options for non-moneyed spouses. Learn more about them in the following sections, and discover where to find the quality legal assistance that you deserve.
Petitioning the Court for Help with Your Legal Fees
When one party in a marriage is the income earner, the other party may feel as though they have little to no options for obtaining legal counsel. As such, they may attempt to represent themselves. Sadly, this can significantly increase the risk of long-term financial problems for the non-moneyed spouse. Thankfully, you do not have to face this fate. Instead, you can use legal options that are available to you under Illinois state law.
Abusive partners have always used methods of control against their victims, but with the latest advancements in technology, they have more tools at their disposal. The abuse of “smart home” devices and cell phones are just two examples that are cropping up in divorces around the nation. Thankfully, victims can protect themselves from a technologically savvy abusive spouse. Learn more in the following sections, including how a seasoned Illinois divorce lawyer can provide victims yet another layer of protection while they are seeking a divorce or separation.
Abuse Using “Smart Homes” and Other Advanced Technology
While technology abuse may not seem like much of a threat, the truth is that perpetrators are using advanced devices like smart home systems to make the lives of their victims unbearable. For example, they may remotely turn the lights off and on, or they may turn up the heater to an unbearable temperature. Unfortunately, when victims try to explain the abuse, law enforcement and other officials may dismiss their claims as “crazy” or petty.
A college degree is almost essential in today’s job market, which is why so many parents set up an educational savings account for their children. Unfortunately, that account may be subject to division if the parents end their marriage. Learn how you can protect your child’s savings account during your Illinois divorce, and discover how a seasoned divorce lawyer may be able to help improve the overall outcome of your case.
How Divorce Can Endanger Your Child’s College Savings
Going from one household to two can have a significant impact on your family’s overall financial trajectory - and that includes your child’s college savings account. That is because the household, which used to share expenses, now has two sets of bills. Add in the possibility of child support and alimony, and there is even less money to go around. As such, it may be difficult for parents to continue contributing to their child’s college savings account. Another issue is that some savings accounts are considered marital assets, so they may be split like other assets. Yet, even if the account is not split (such as with a 529 plan), there is a risk that one parent may wrongfully spend the money that has been saved.
Most people view divorce as a failure of their marriage, but relationship experts say this is not always the case. In fact, people often grow and mature during their marriage, and divorce can be a part of that process. Learn more in the following sections, including how a seasoned divorce attorney can help you successfully navigate the ins and outs of an Illinois divorce.
Human Relationships Can Promote Personal Growth
When you are single, the only person you really have to worry about is yourself. In contrast, marriage encourages you to put the needs and feelings of others before your own. Relationships can also help you see where you need to grow. For example, marriage can reveal your tendency to act with selfishness or immaturity. It can also help you to see where you need to act more responsibly (i.e. managing money, etc.). Of course, few people enter their marriages with this mindset, which is why divorce is typically seen as a failure. Yet, experts say that choosing a divorce - especially when you have grown apart or outgrown your relationship - can be the most mature decision one can make. It can also indicate you are not overly fearful of change and personal growth, both of which are unavoidable when you end a relationship.
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