During the divorce process, one of the most important items for both parents to agree to is a parenting plan that addresses parenting time and parental responsibilities. This agreement may come about through negotiation, mediation, or other collaborative methods between you and your spouse, or it may come in the form of a court ruling issued by a judge, but in either case the terms are legally binding. In the months and years following your divorce, if you find that your ex is failing or refusing to honor the agreement, you may need to pursue the legal enforcement of your divorce order.

Common Parenting Plan Violations in Illinois

Parenting plan breaches may arise out of carelessness, hostility, a change in the relationship between you and your ex, or resentment surrounding the initial terms of the agreement. Some of the most common violations include:

• Refusing to allow the children to spend their allocated time with the other parent
• Frequent lateness when transporting the children to the other parent
• Attempted interruptions of the other parent’s allocated time
• Refusing to care for the children during one’s allocated time
• Relocating with the child without obtaining necessary permission under Illinois law

If your ex is engaging in any of these behaviors, you should first attempt to resolve the dispute on your own, provided that doing so does not put you or your children in danger. If the behavior continues, your next step is to file a petition for enforcement with the court.

When you get a divorce in Illinois, you can expect the court to ensure a fair distribution of marital property. However, you may have additional concerns about your ability to support yourself financially after your divorce, in which case you should explore the possible option of spousal maintenance, also known as spousal support or alimony. Spousal maintenance is not a required part of every Illinois divorce resolution, but it may be awarded in cases of need.

Am I Entitled to Spousal Support in Illinois?

If you and your spouse are willing to cooperate throughout the divorce process, you may be able to negotiate for the spousal support that you need as one piece of a larger divorce agreement. For example, your spouse may be more open to paying spousal support if he or she is able to retain important property as part of the division of assets. If negotiation is not possible, you can also pursue spousal maintenance by demonstrating your need to the court.

Illinois courts consider a variety of factors when determining whether spousal maintenance should be awarded. Some situations in which you may have a case for support include:

Getting a divorce can create financial strain for both spouses because of the required division of assets and the potential for child and spousal support obligations. This may be especially difficult if you have significant debt at the time of your divorce. If you are not careful, debt problems can become increasingly complicated after your divorce, so it is important to consider options that can alleviate your debt burden during the divorce process.

When is Debt Considered Marital Property in Illinois?

You may be aware that marital property will be divided in your divorce, but it can come as a surprise that debts accumulated during your marriage are considered part of that property. This may be true whether the debt was incurred by one spouse or both together. Marital debt can come from many sources, including mortgages, car loans, student loans, business loans, and credit card debt. Any remaining marital debt at the time of your divorce must be distributed fairly between you and your spouse.

Strategies for Avoiding Debt Complications in Your Divorce

As your divorce approaches, you may be able to reduce your debt obligations or prevent future complications with creditors by being proactive, especially if you and your spouse are willing to cooperate and negotiate. Some strategies for mitigating the effects of marital debt include:

Domestic violence is, unfortunately, a widespread problem in the United States. Each year, more than 12 million people are victims of physical or sexual violence from an intimate partner, and this abuse often extends to children in the household as well. If you or a family member is suffering from domestic abuse in Illinois, an order of protection can help keep you safe from the perpetrator. An experienced attorney can help you understand how an order of protection works and which type of order is best for your situation.

What is an Order of Protection?

In Illinois, an order or protection can prevent an alleged abuser from continued abuse, physical contact, proximity, and communication with the person who has been abused, as well as that person’s children, dependents, or legal guardians. Orders of protection are enforced by local law enforcement officers, and they can be filed independently or together with a petition related to divorce, parental responsibilities, guardianship, or adoption. 

Depending on the nature and severity of your situation, you may be able to pursue one of three types of protective orders:

Co-parenting after a divorce can be challenging, both because of the need for coordination between two households and the possibility of lingering disagreement or resentment between you and your ex. However, successful co-parenting is often crucial for your children’s happiness and well-being, and if you can work on effective communication with your ex, you can avoid some of the stresses of co-parenting and establish a system that works for the good of everyone involved.

Illinois Co-Parenting Communication Tips

Whether you and your ex get along fairly well, or you tend to butt heads on a regular basis, communication is key to successful co-parenting. Here are some strategies to improve your communication:

• Stay calm and professional. Make sure you are in the right mindset to approach communication with your ex so that you can remain calm and manage your emotions. It may help to think of your communication with your ex as similar to communication with a work colleague, since you essentially share the job of effectively raising your children.
• Practice active listening. It is important to express your needs in communication with your ex, but make sure that you also make an effort to listen to his or her perspective. This opens the door for compromise and collaborative solutions in which both parents and children are able to achieve what is best for them.
• Keep your focus on the task at hand. When you communicate with your ex, try to keep the conversation on the topic of your children and what each of you needs in order to co-parent effectively. If the conversation begins to stray toward your personal disagreements, this can lead to a communication breakdown.
• Plan regular check-ins. You may need to establish a regular time to check in with your ex and make sure you are keeping each other informed. This could be a weekly phone call or a short conversation when you drop your kids off at the other parent’s home.
• Be proactive. If you have a concern or a request related to something coming up in the future, try to be proactive and address it early rather than waiting until the last minute when it may be difficult for the other parent to adapt.
• Consider alternative channels. Face-to-face communication may not be the best option for you and your ex. If you find it difficult emotionally or logistically to converse in person, it may be best to explore other options like phone calls, texting, or email.

Along with all of these tips, you should ensure that all communication between you and your ex in front of your children is civil. If your kids see their parents fighting, this can put a strain on their relationships with each of you and put them in a difficult situation in which they may feel forced to pick sides.

For many couples who are preparing to divorce, one of the biggest concerns is the stress and conflict that can arise throughout the divorce process. It is true that almost no divorce is easy, but you may be able to avoid much of the hardship by pursuing the option of divorce mediation, which allows you and your spouse to work together to make important decisions on a number of issues.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work?

For a mediated divorce process to work, you and your spouse must be willing to cooperate and communicate with each other, whether that is face-to-face or through some other means. The two of you maintain control over all of your final decisions, and each of you will have the opportunity to express your perspectives throughout the deliberation process. A trained mediator, who is often an attorney, will be present as a third party to guide the process and ensure it proceeds smoothly without taking a side or attempting to influence the outcome. When mediation is successful, a couple may be able to avoid a trial entirely, which can save time and money and allow them to maintain greater privacy.

Decisions to Address During Mediation

Unlike a trial in which the judge issues a final ruling, mediation allows couples to reach an agreement tailored to their specific needs and preferences. Mediation can assist with all elements of your divorce agreement, including:

In an ideal situation, a couple would choose to get a divorce when both spouses are financially stable and able to maintain their accustomed lifestyle independently. However, this is not always possible, and it may be especially difficult at a time when so many people are struggling to find or maintain steady employment. Whether you are voluntarily unemployed in order to be a stay-at-home parent or you have recently lost your job due to COVID-19, there are a few things to consider regarding how your unemployment can affect the divorce process.

Voluntary vs. Involuntary Unemployment

If you have been fired, laid off, or furloughed due to COVID-19 or for most other reasons, and you are actively seeking employment, your unemployment will likely be considered involuntary. This means that your financial obligations related to the divorce will usually take your actual current income into consideration. However, if you are voluntarily unemployed, the court may instead consider your earning capacity when determining your ability to make financial contributions. Note that there may be an exception if you are voluntarily unemployed so that you can contribute to the marriage in some other way, such as being a stay-at-home parent to care for your children while your spouse works.

Unemployment and Child Support in Illinois

In Illinois, each parent’s child support obligation is calculated based on an equitable proportion of the parents’ combined incomes. If both parents are regularly employed, this calculation can be relatively straightforward, but if one of you is unemployed, it can become more complicated. If the paying spouse is involuntarily unemployed, his or her child support obligation will often be lower than it would be in the case of regular employment. If the receiving spouse is unemployed, he or she may expect to see the other parent pay for a majority of the child support obligation.

Divorce is a difficult experience for parents and children alike, filled with sadness, anger, fear, uncertainty, and a range of other strong emotions. While it is a challenging time for children of all ages, teens may find it especially hard to deal with their parents’ divorce at a time in their life that may already be marked by major transitions and heightened emotions. As a parent, you should be prepared for the impact your divorce will have on your teenagers and do your best to help them cope with the changes that come.

Common Responses to Divorce For Teen Children

Many teens struggle with their parents’ divorce and react in ways that may have a negative impact on their lives. Some of the most common effects of divorce on teens include:

• Academic Performance Issues: During a divorce, increased stress, lack of sleep, and difficulty focusing may all cause your teen’s grades and enjoyment of school to suffer.
• Behavioral Issues: You may find that during and after your divorce, your teen lashes out at both parents more often or rebels against your rules and requests in ways that they had not before.
• Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: Some teens turn to substance abuse in response to their parents’ divorce, and they may also be more likely to engage in early, unsafe sexual activity.
• Difficulty in Relationships: Divorce can put a strain on teens’ relationships not only with their parents but also with their friends and peers. They may also find it difficult to form and maintain romantic relationships after seeing their parents’ marriage fail.
• Mental Health Issues: Divorce can contribute to a teen’s depression or suicidal thoughts and cause actions that require immediate attention and care.

Helping Your Teen Child Adjust to Divorce

It can be difficult to focus on the emotional needs of your children when you are struggling yourself, but the more you can be there for your teen children, the better you can help them work through their feelings and prevent some of their more dangerous and unhealthy reactions. Devoting time to talk to your children and listen to their concerns can make a big difference, as can continuing to support them in their interests. Asking for their input in your parenting plan can also help to ensure the arrangement works for everyone in the family. Most importantly, always be on the lookout for behavior that may indicate depression or other mental health issues that require help from a professional.

In the months and years following a divorce, many people find new partners with whom they want to spend their lives and decide to get married again. Remarriage can be a happy occasion and a time for celebration, but if you are planning for a second marriage, you should be sure to consider the changes it will bring for you and your family, as well as the legal matters you may need to address.

Addressing the Changes That Remarriage Brings

First and foremost, if you want to remarry, you must ensure that your divorce has been finalized and that your previous marriage has legally ended. If this is the case, then there are some additional factors for you to think through, including: 

1. Combining Households and Families: You and your new partner will need to decide where you will live after your remarriage and if this means buying a new home together. If you have children, you should think through the best way to introduce them to your new partner and any potential step-siblings. You also may need to seek a modification to your parenting plan to accommodate your new living situation.
2. Changes to Spousal and Child Support: In Illinois, a person who remarries is no longer able to receive spousal maintenance from the previous spouse. However, the paying spouse may still be required to pay spousal support after remarrying. When children are involved, both parents will still need to contribute to child support, but a modification may be in order if the remarrying parent experiences a significant increase in income as a result of the marriage.
3. Pursuing a Prenuptial Agreement: Second marriages often happen at a point in life when both partners have significant financial assets, so you may find it important to develop a prenuptial agreement that specifies which of you has the right to certain properties if you get divorced in the future.
4. Modifying Your Estate Plan: You may need to adjust your will and any trusts to include your new spouse as a beneficiary. It is also important to consider how your spouse’s inheritance will impact that of your children and other dependents from before the remarriage.

Contact a Naperville Family Law Attorney Today

An experienced family lawyer can help you not only during your divorce but also in the years following. At Davi Law Group, we can give you the legal advice you need to help your remarriage go smoothly, allowing you to focus on the positives and the strengthening of your relationships with your new family. Contact a Wheaton divorce lawyer for a free consultation at 630-504-0176.

While a prenuptial agreement may not seem like the most romantic wedding gift, it is likely one of the most valuable. That is because it does not just protect you in the instance of divorce; it can also set the financial tone for your marriage and reduce the risk of arguments over money. With years of experience assisting engaged couples with their prenuptial agreements, our legal professionals have compiled a list of ten considerations to think about before signing your prenup.

Consider This

1. More Than Just Money: Prenuptial agreements are not just for the rich and famous. Many couples, particularly millennials, use them to protect their intellectual rights to ideas, inventions, and artistic creations. Of course, not all ideas prove to be lucrative, but the point is that a prenuptial agreement protects your rights to these intangible assets (and any proceeds that may come from them).
2. Timing is Everything: To effectively protect your assets in the event of a divorce, you will want to sign the prenuptial agreement sooner, rather than later. Sign too close to your wedding date and your spouse could have an argument for signing under duress, which would nullify the details of your prenup.
3. You Need Your Own Counsel: Engaged couples often assume they can use the same attorney when drafting their prenup, but this is not the most beneficial for either you or your spouse. Just as you would have separate lawyers protecting your interests in a divorce, you should have your own attorney there to safeguard those same interests in your prenup.
4. Premarital Assets Are Usually Off-Limits: When drafting a prenup, recognize that premarital assets are generally considered off-limits. In an Illinois divorce, premarital assets will be given back to the spouse who brought them into the marriage.
5. Children Are Excluded: You cannot define parameters for children in a prenuptial agreement. The state requires all decisions regarding parenting plans and child support designations to be made in the best interests of the child at the time of the divorce, not at the time of the prenup.
6. You Can Include Alimony Provisions: If alimony may be an issue in a potential divorce, you can address it in your prenuptial agreement. This can ensure that the receiving spouse is provided for, but that the amount awarded does not exceed what the payor can handle. You can also waive or exclude alimony in your prenuptial agreement, should that be the path you feel is most appropriate.
7. ’Til Death Do You Part: Prenuptial agreements can even address sole-owned assets in the event of a death. Provisions may be set aside for other family members as well as the spouse.
8. Honesty is the Best Policy: Be sure to provide full financial disclosure when drafting your prenuptial agreement. Failure to do so could cause it to be overturned in a divorce. Worse yet, you may be penalized for attempting to hide assets.
9. Fairness is Important: In a divorce, marital assets are divided equitably—or fairly. Your prenuptial agreement should mirror this “fair” standpoint. Otherwise, it could be overthrown during your divorce.
10. Fair Is Not the Same for Everyone: The term “fair” is subjective. What you deem fair may not seem fair to someone else, your spouse included. As such, it is important to base your prenuptial agreement on the circumstances of your marriage—not what everyone else says is fair.

Contact Our Wheaton Prenuptial Agreement Attorneys

If you are thinking of signing a prenuptial agreement before you marry, contact Davi Law Group, LLC. Our seasoned DuPage County divorce lawyers can protect your interests and help you navigate the process. Schedule your personalized consultation by calling 630-580-6373 today.

After a divorce, it can be challenging to co-parent between two different households, and the challenge is bound to increase the farther apart the two parents live. Nevertheless, you may find yourself in a situation in which you need to move for career or personal reasons and want your children to come with you. Illinois law allows for a parent’s relocation under certain circumstances, but if you are planning to move more than 25 or 50 miles away from your children’s other parent, depending on the county where you currently live, you will be required to present your case to the court for approval.

Preparing for Questions in Your Relocation Hearing

As the court considers your relocation request, they will ask you a variety of questions to determine whether the move is in your children’s best interests. These questions may include:

One of the most important considerations in a divorce or any co-parenting situation is making sure that children are well provided for by both parents. Whether you are the custodial or non-custodial parent, you bear the responsibility to contribute financially to your children’s food, clothing, shelter, health, and education. However, as your financial situation changes, especially during the uncertain times of the COVID-19 pandemic, you may find it difficult to keep up with the payments in your original child support order. If you have recently been laid off or have experienced an involuntary drop in income, you should consider pursuing a modification to your order.

How Are Child Support Payments Calculated in Illinois?

In Illinois, child support payments are determined by combining both parents’ monthly net incomes and allocating an equitable percentage of the child support obligation to each parent. The calculation also considers the number of children, their needs, and the standard of living they would have experienced in a two-parent household. Typically, the custodial parent fulfills their obligation by spending more time and money caring for the children directly, while the non-custodial parent is expected to make monthly payments to the custodial parent. Because each parent’s income is a significant factor in the calculation, if you have experienced a change in your income, it is important to seek a modification to the order whether you are the custodial or the non-custodial parent.

How to Seek a Modification to a Child Support Order

The Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services (DHFS) specifies that a child support order can be modified when there is a significant change in the non-custodial parent’s income, but either parent can request a modification at any time if a major change has occurred. After losing your job, you can contact DHFS to request a modification, and you will then be asked to certify your income and expenses, including any unemployment income you are receiving. The Division of Child Support Services will review your case and notify you of any changes to your existing order based on new calculations. If your modification is approved, the decreased payments can be applied retroactively to the date you filed for modification, but until then you should continue making payments according to your previous order to avoid facing penalties.

While most parents only want what is best for their children, there are those who are more focused on “winning” than the child’s best interest. Some may even go so far as to commit parental alienation. In today’s post, you will learn more about parental alienation, including how to determine if your child may be a victim, and what actions can be taken to protect the child. 

What is Parental Alienation?

Minor issues, such as arguments in front of the kids and ill-spoken words are fairly common in the initial stages of a divorce or separation. Though still harmful, these negative behaviors typically dissipate over time. Each parent heals from their grief or anger, sees the nature of their wrongs, and strives to improve for the benefit of the child. 

Parental alienation is different, specifically in terms of severity and the long-term continuance of the offending parent’s poor behavior. Their reasons behind it are varied (i.e. a need or desire to control, fear of losing the child’s love or affection, wanting to hurt or get even with the other parent), but the results are often devastatingly similar. The child suffers mentally and emotionally and, as a result, they may develop maladjustment issues, such as an identity crisis, depression, or even outright hatred toward a parent that they once loved dearly. 

Preparation is the key to a smoother, less tumultuous divorce. How you go about it—the steps you take and the methods you use to prepare—is important as well. Give yourself the best possible chance at a positive outcome by preparing for your Illinois divorce in the following five ways. 

1. Focus on Your Finances

In a divorce, spouses must value and then divide their marital estate in an equitable manner. For most, this means a significant reduction in assets, which may be combined with an overall decrease in each household’s income (i.e. one income instead of two). Parties are strongly encouraged to create a budget and a financial plan to help them prepare for this shift. It is also advised that parties gather any and all documentation on marital assets to increase their chances of receiving a fair settlement in the divorce.

2. Protect the Children

How you protect your children in a divorce will depend greatly on the situation. Some may need to seek orders of protection and specialized help (i.e. a Guardian Ad Litem) to ensure the safety of their children. However, most children simply need support as their parents separate. They may need room to express their feelings, a chance to ask questions, and perhaps a little extra love and attention as they come to terms with the divorce. Therapy and support groups may also be necessary to help a child through the process.

In a divorce, parties may face numerous obstacles and challenges. If not handled thoughtfully, any one of them could result in negative consequences. There is one mistake that trumps all others, however. Learn what it is and how to avoid it in today’s post. 

The Biggest (and Most Common) Divorce Mistake

After months, perhaps even years of fighting and arguing, most divorcing parties want to quickly and peacefully end their marriage. Unfortunately, if you are too agreeable, you could place your own future at risk. As an example, consider this all too familiar scenario: 

Your spouse files paperwork. You look it over, but the jargon is confusing. Still, you trust that your ex has the same goal as you—to end things peaceably and get on with your lives. You sign the paperwork and discover, far too late, that your spouse has done something underhanded. 

Prenuptial agreements are designed to minimize the risk of complications in a divorce, but this is not their only potential benefit. Used correctly, this legal document can also benefit a couple during their marriage. Get the details on how a prenup can benefit (and possibly even strengthen) your marriage, and discover how a seasoned family law attorney can help to smooth the conversation, should you decide to get one before you wed.

1. Prenups Can Bolster Your Marriage Against Money Issues 

Money is the second leading cause of divorce—and not just because one party has it and is trying to control it. Couples may earn close to the same amount but have wildly different views on how money should be spent or saved. As a result, they may argue incessantly over money, which can erode the foundation of their marriage. Alternatively, their financial goals may not align with one another, so the parties may work against one another instead of together toward a common goal. 

When creating a prenuptial agreement, couples typically discuss their financial habits and goals. This allows the parties to predict and potentially strategize against some of the financial issues that may arise over the course of their marriage. It also requires them to compromise and agree on some common financial goals. All this work, painful and stressful as it might seem, can bolster the marriage against money issues later on down the road. 

In an ideal world, every divorced or separate couple would put their differences aside and make great efforts to effectively co-parent their children. Unfortunately, the world is quite far from ideal. Some parents are narcissistic or vengeful. Some are abusive. In either case, the healthy parent is hindered in their co-parenting efforts, and the child may suffer. Parallel parenting may be a solution to these difficult situations. 

What is Parallel Parenting?

Parallel parenting requires each parent to focus on their own interactions with the child. You do not concern yourself with the rules at your ex’s house. You let go of concerns over diet, bedtimes, and discipline (unless there is abuse, in which case you are encouraged to talk to an attorney about your options). In short, you do you and allow the other parent to do the same.

While it may seem strange to let go of what happens when your child is away, odds are, the other parent also wants what is best for the child. They may not make the same decisions that you would, and their rules may be different, but that does not necessarily make them wrong. 

Most couples aim for an amicable divorce or separation, but some situations seem to breed conflict (i.e. domestic violence, vengeful spouse, child-related issues, etc.). In these scenarios, a peaceful end to your marriage may feel impossible, yet it is still possible to mitigate the issues. Learn how by checking out today’s tips on navigating a high conflict divorce.

1. Minimize Contact (Especially When the Kids Are Around)

One of the fastest and most efficient ways to reduce conflict in your divorce is to minimize contact with your spouse. First, eliminate any unnecessary contact. Do not meet in person if a phone conversation will suffice. Choose not to accept their call if you are busy, hurried, or stressed. Avoid conversations with them around the children. Opt to communicate through email instead of over the phone. Really, just find what works best for you and your situation. Above all, remember that how you speak to (and about) your spouse can either help or harm your children. 

2. Set Firm but Loving Boundaries for the Kids

Children and their feelings are often forgotten in the high conflict divorce. Too much focus and attention go into dealing with the issues. However, kids often feel off-center, angry, confused, or sad when their parents split up. If not given the chance to talk about these emotions, they may start to act out. Children may also struggle to follow the rules of two separate households. Choose to do things in a healthy, healing way in your home. Set firm but loving boundaries, and stick to them. Be there for your child, strive to understand why they are struggling, but do not let bad behavior go unnoticed or neglected.

A seasoned divorce attorney can make all the difference in the outcome of your case. However, they may not be the only professionals you need on your side. Familiarize yourself with the various and additional key players that can aid you in protecting your children, assets, and sanity in a pending Illinois divorce. 

Start with Your Attorney

The first call a divorcing party should make is to a seasoned and competent divorce lawyer. They are the most qualified to examine your situation to determine which additional professionals may be needed for your case. Additionally, your lawyer can take legal action on your behalf, early on, affording you greater protection throughout the entire divorce process. 

Appraisers and Forensic Accountants

Besides divorce attorneys, forensic accountants and appraisers are among the most commonly hired professionals in divorce. They can aid in providing an accurate appraisal for common and uncommon assets, including your home, vehicles, collectibles, artwork, jewelry, businesses, and more. These financial experts can also help track down stolen or hidden assets, increasing your chances of receiving a full and fair settlement in your divorce. 

Between the pandemic, record job losses, riots, and economic downturn, the future of America might seem grim. Thankfully, the economy will eventually recover. What may not survive is your marriage. 

Some couples drew closer under the imposed stay-at-home orders, banding together to withstand and prevail in these uncertain times, but others came to realize that their marriage is unsalvageable. Too much time together agitated unresolved marital issues, bringing them to the surface. Financial problems, job losses, and illnesses only added further stress. 

If your marriage crumbled under the stress of recent events, rest assured that you can still move forward with the divorce process. More than that, you can (and are encouraged to) cope with the end of your relationship in a healthy and productive way, as doing so can improve the long-term outcome for yourself and any children.