For many divorcing couples, mediation can be a great option to keep conflict to a minimum and avoid an expensive, public trial. However, what works for one couple does not always work for another, and in fact, there are some circumstances in which attempting mediation can be counterproductive or even dangerous. As you work toward a divorce, you should be aware of the signs that mediation may be wrong for you.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a cooperative approach to divorce resolution in which both spouses meet with a neutral third-party mediator who is professionally trained to guide negotiations. A mediator will not recommend or enforce solutions, but he or she will attempt to ensure that each spouse has the opportunity to voice his or her perspective and help the two parties recognize opportunities for compromise. When spouses have the right mindset, mediation can help them resolve their divorce more efficiently and amicably.

Divorce Mediation Does Not Always Work

That said, there are some high-conflict situations in which mediation is unlikely to succeed, undesirable, or even impossible. You may be better off avoiding mediation and resorting to litigation to achieve your desired outcome If any of the following are true of your marriage and divorce:

For many couples who are preparing to divorce, one of the biggest concerns is the stress and conflict that can arise throughout the divorce process. It is true that almost no divorce is easy, but you may be able to avoid much of the hardship by pursuing the option of divorce mediation, which allows you and your spouse to work together to make important decisions on a number of issues.

How Does Divorce Mediation Work?

For a mediated divorce process to work, you and your spouse must be willing to cooperate and communicate with each other, whether that is face-to-face or through some other means. The two of you maintain control over all of your final decisions, and each of you will have the opportunity to express your perspectives throughout the deliberation process. A trained mediator, who is often an attorney, will be present as a third party to guide the process and ensure it proceeds smoothly without taking a side or attempting to influence the outcome. When mediation is successful, a couple may be able to avoid a trial entirely, which can save time and money and allow them to maintain greater privacy.

Decisions to Address During Mediation

Unlike a trial in which the judge issues a final ruling, mediation allows couples to reach an agreement tailored to their specific needs and preferences. Mediation can assist with all elements of your divorce agreement, including:

All across the country, people are staying indoors and away from others to minimize their exposure to coronavirus. Stay orders and full-on quarantines literally force couples into all-day one-on-one time. This constant, forced interaction can further inflame underlying issues for those who were already on the edge and barely holding onto the shreds of their marriage. 

Data suggests this issue is already causing a spike in divorce inquiries. Now the question becomes whether couples should move forward with their cases or wait it out to see if they can resolve matters once the quarantine is over.

Working Marital Issues Out While Under Quarantine

Marital issues can feel more pronounced when you are forced to interact with one another all day long. While couples under quarantine are unable to change their circumstances, there are some strategies that can be used to help your marriage - even in its current state. 

Healing from the emotional turmoil of a divorce can be a long and grueling process - and not just because you must come to terms with the end of your marriage. Eventually, you must also deal with the person you were during the divorce. 

You see, people often become the worst versions of themselves when under high amounts of stress. Few events in life are quite as stressful as a divorce, yet it is important to keep your composure as best as humanly possible. That does not mean you have to be perfect; mistakes are just a part of life. However, you can greatly minimize your chances of unnecessary regret after your divorce by working hard to achieve a peaceful outcome. Learn more in the following sections, including how the assistance of a seasoned divorce attorney can help. 

1. Decide if Divorce Truly is Your Best Option

Divorce mediation has quickly become a popular way for parties to divorce - and not just because it offers a more cost-effective way to dissolve a marriage. Mediation also encourages cooperation and compromise between the divorcing parties, which can help to improve the overall outcome for divorcing parents, older divorcing couples splitting a retirement, and couples with a high net worth marriage. Still, divorcing parties often feel more at ease when they know what to expect from the divorce mediation process. Learn more in the following sections, which address some of the most frequently asked questions about divorce mediation in Illinois. 

What is Divorce Mediation? 

Before mediation, divorcing parties were pitted against one another and placed on opposite sides in court litigation. Sadly, this led to many poor outcomes, especially for children. Mediation works differently. It encourages the parties to compromise and come to an agreement that works for all involved parties (parents, children, and even pets). Parties who successfully reach an agreement can avoid court proceedings altogether, but if an agreement cannot be made, the parties may still address their issues in court and allow a judge to decide on the matters that are pertinent or problematic in their divorce. 

Are There Any Benefits to Choosing Mediation Over Litigation?

Mediation is often chosen by divorcing couples because it offers them a way to end their marriage faster, and more amicably. As a result, they are better able to preserve their wealth. Children are also less likely to suffer maladjustment when their parents go through a divorce, especially when parents strive for amicable proceedings and an agreement that allows the child ample time and support from each of their parents. Agreements can also be more flexible for those that go through mediation. Parents, retiring divorcees, and even high net worth individuals often find this to be a benefit in their Illinois divorce cases.