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Getting Your Finances In Order Before You Split
The emotional toll of a divorce is not lost on anyone, and it’s no secret that anyone who’s gone through or is going through a divorce is likely to experience some financial setbacks. The trick to maintaining your finances throughout a divorce is to do some serious planning beforehand, sometimes even before you bring up the idea of divorce with your spouse. The first obvious cost to a divorce is the hiring of a qualified divorce attorney—which each spouse will need to do. “Nonetheless,” according to US News and World Report, “people can save a lot on legal fees if the case requires less ‘discovery’ work—meaning clients gather the necessary financial documents on their own time, rather than leaving it to their attorney.” This, of course, means knowing which documents are necessary to search for, and where to look if you’re unsure. 
One major way to save on the financial burden of divorce is to attempt to find a middle grounds with your ex and “consider aiming for an uncontested divorce,” according to US News and World Report. This means providing mandatory disclosures, which “require both parties to produce a large number of financial documents.” A divorce attorney can help you to determine which of these documents you’ll need, and may be able to help you obtain them if necessary. The financial documents you’ll need for a divorce are not few in number, and the search for them can “prove overwhelming… especially if you are a stranger to your financial situation,” according to US News and World Report. This can sometimes affect women more often than men, which means that a woman going through a divorce will need to be even more financially aware, especially if she was not the primary earner. To begin the arduous process of organizing your financials during a divorce, the most important first task is to hire a qualified family law attorney. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, don’t go through it alone. Contact a dedicated DuPage County divorce lawyer today.
Options to Review before Divorcing your Spouse
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What Is Meant by Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is “a pattern of behaviors utilized by one partner (the abuser or batterer) to exert and maintain control over another person (the survivor or victim) where there exists an intimate, loving and dependent relationship”, according to the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs. 
Although domestic violence is often defined as heterosexual women’s problem, they are not the only victims of abusive behavior. Domestic violence has been observed in many kinds of relationships, including same-gender relationships. In domestic violence, the violent spouse uses different types of abusive behavior to gain the sole control of the relationship. The victim cannot make independent decisions without suffering consequences from the violent spouse which leads to constant fear and anxiety. The abuser tries to isolate the victim and prevents them from getting help. Not all abusive relationships are necessarily similar. The behavior of the abuser and the tools of abuse he or she uses to gain and maintain control in the relationship determine the type of the abusive relationship. However, there are some general tendencies how violent spouses abuse their partners or children. These can be, for example, some of the following behaviors:
Joint Custody Better for the Kids
Divorce is never easy. If you and your soon-to-be ex have children, divorce is even more complicated. Not only are you dealing with your and your spouse’s emotions, there’s the well being of the kids to take into consideration. If the divorce is amicable—which, let’s face it, it rarely is—deciding to share custody of your children is the obvious answer. Yet even if the divorce is less than friendly, research shows that deciding on joint custody is the best option for children. According to a report published in the American Psychological Association (APA), “children from divorced families who either live with both parents at different times or spend certain amounts of time with each parent are better adjusted in most cases than children who live and interact with just one parent.” This, of course, takes into consideration visitation rights as well as custody, but it should be noted that the more time a child spends with both parents, the better off he or she will be. 
“Children in joint custody arrangements had less behavior and emotional problems, had higher self-esteem, better family relations and school performance than children in sole custody arrangements,” according to the APA. The perception that a joint custody arrangement could be damaging to children because it has the potential to expose children to ongoing parental conflict is just not true, according to the report. According to Parents magazine, there’s some important framework to consider if you’re embarking on a joint custody arrangement. This includes setting up a routine for your child or children, that “accommodates both parents’ schedules and serves the best interest of the child.” This includes holiday arrangements. Another tip from Parents magazine is to “leave young children out of negotiations, and present your decision matter-of-factly.” In order to be fair to both parents, try to make weekday and weekend time for both parents, so that one parent doesn’t end up being the “fun” one, while the other is responsible for more of the day-to-day. Determining child custody is only one complicated matter of family law and divorce. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, don’t go through it alone. Contact a dedicated Illinois family law attorney today. Image courtesy of Mindy McGregor / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
How to avoid social media stress during and after divorce
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Relocating children after a divorce in Illinois
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College Degree Protects Marriages; Race a Factor, Study Confirms
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NFL Player Kwame Harris Charged With Domestic Violence
Kwame Harris, former San Francisco 49ers right tackle, has been charged with felony domestic violence and assault charges for beating his former boyfriend, the Huffington Post reported on January 28. His trial will start in April. 
Harris, 30, had a fight with his boyfriend outside a Menlo Park restaurant in August. The boyfriend, Dimitri Geier, suffered many facial fractures in the fight and had to undergo surgery. Harris has been charged with domestic violence because he used to live with Geier and they had an on-and-off romantic relationship. “Whenever we move forward with charges, it's because we believe the evidence is sufficient,” Assistant District Attorney Al Serrato said. “Certainly the injuries are consistent with a serious assault.” Harris admits that he had a relationship with Geier, but claims that he hit Geier in self-defense. He had pleaded not guilty. According to his defense, it was Geier who started the fight and Harris had every right to defend himself. It was unfortunate that Geier got injured in the altercation. While a few former NFL players have come out as gay, none have done so while still actively playing. Harris, who was drafted by the 49ers in 2003, is open about his sexuality, but he is a private person who is not in the habit of talking about his personal life in public. Domestic violence affects both men and women alike regardless of their sexual orientation. Domestic abuse can have serious consequences for victims’ health and life. If you or someone you know has suffered because of domestic violence, you should get help immediately. Contact a dedicated Illinois divorce attorney today.
How Can You Prove Paternity If Parent Is Deceased?
If one parent passes away before you legitimately find out if they are the father or not, do not worry. There is a way to figure it all out. With today’s technological advances it is easier than you think. Paternity issues can be done by following simple steps and utilizing a local lab to do testing.
First a birth certificate must be produced and have the questioned man listed as father. This documentation is the first step to proving paternity. It shows acknowledgement as well as the fact that the child has the same surname as the father. This can be proof enough in some states for paternity. Another good form of proof is if the father claimed the child under his taxes as a dependent. All of these can satisfy some or all requirements for paternity in certain states.
Just because the child looks like the father in question is not proof that he is the father. A DNA sample has to be gathered to officially determine paternity in some states. It could have been taken during a procedure while the father was still alive. If, however, none was taken while he was alive, the next best solution would be to get a DNA sample from the father’s closest relatives. Higher probability goes to his parents or other children he had. Have testing done with either of those samples to compare to the child’s in a DNA lab.
If you are in a situation where paternity is in question and it affects your child’s well being and future, contact a family attorney knowledgeable with paternity disputes in the Illinois area.
Photo courtesy of freedigitalphotos
Forgiveness in Divorce Makes it Easier
It may seem impossible in the throes of divorce to ever imagine forgiving your ex for the emotional pain and possible hardship caused in the failed relationship. The most important aspect in a divorce to moving on from the pain and starting a new life is to find a way to forgive your ex, and allow yourself some distance and reflection from the mess. One easy way to do this is to seek the counsel of a qualified divorce attorney, who can help you sort through the nuts and bolts of a divorce so you’re more able to deal with the emotional fallout. According to the Examiner, “forgiveness is not reconciliation. Reconciliation is a different step that may or may not happen. But forgiveness is crucial.” This high ideal isn’t just an acceptance of an apology, but a rooting deep within to find the peace it takes to release someone form the pain he or she has caused you. Forgiveness is the first step to a good divorce—the next is to try to make sure that you’re both on board with the process as it begins. Many couples seek therapy at the end of their marriage for help going through a divorce. According to the Independent, “professional counselors no longer necessarily aim to glue you both back together like a broken vase. They want what is best for both of you, and they may help both of you to deal with the divorce in a more rational and civilized way.” This is especially true if one party isn’t quite ready to call it quits. If you or someone you know is going through a divorce, don’t do it alone. A qualified attorney can help you to sort out the logistics, so you’re able to focus on getting your life back together. Contact a dedicated Illinois divorce attorney today. Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
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