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While many studies have indicated that children can recover from the emotional turmoil of a divorce (and may, in some situations, fare better in divorce than if their parents stayed together), they are still vulnerable and innocent parties who can be significantly and negatively impacted by the process. As such, parents are encouraged to make every reasonable effort to mitigate the risk of divorce-related maladjustment in their child. One of the more effective ways to do this is through communication - and not just about the divorce itself, but also the feelings that children are likely to experience as they adjust to the changes of their new life.
Divorcing parents were once led to believe that children were “resilient” enough to withstand the emotional turmoil of divorce without any long-term, negative effects, but more recent data disproves this outdated theory. Children can experience maladjustment issues from a divorce, even if they do not display any immediate signs or symptoms. That is because, like adults, children can experience the complexity of grief, loss, pain, stress, and even self-blame during the divorce process. If not addressed appropriately, those feelings can simmer below the surface, only to emerge at a later date - and often at a time when the parent least expects it.
Most divorcing couples realize that compromise is the least difficult path in a divorce. Sadly, there are those who will stop at nothing to “get even” or get what they want. Take a divorcing Oklahoma woman’s situation for example.
During a meeting with her husband to sign paperwork for their divorce, he allegedly handed her a drugged cup of coffee. While it took her a while to realize that something was “off,” she ultimately discovered that she had been drugged after taking an over-the-counter drug test.
At that time, she also realized that their 3-month-old baby had been breastfed three times since consuming the coffee. She voluntarily took the baby to the hospital to ensure its safety, and she reported the incident to the police. The woman then pressed criminal charges and sought a restraining order against her husband to ensure the future safety or herself and her child.
Today, the word “coach” extends far beyond the world of sports. In fact, you can find a coach for almost anything these days - life coaches, weight loss coaches, and even divorce coaches. What is a divorce coach, and do you really need one during your Illinois divorce. Moreover, how might these professionals fit into your divorce team and overall strategy? The following information can help you learn more.
As the name implies, divorce coaches assist parties as they navigate through the complexities of their separation. The application of these services can be logistical, emotional or even just supportive. For example, your divorce coach might assist you with tasks like gathering paperwork or creating and maintaining a budget, or their work may entail connecting you with a support group or therapist while you work through the grieving process. Just remember that a divorce coach should never be thought of as a replacement for a seasoned divorce lawyer. Divorce coaches cannot provide you with detailed legal advice, nor can they handle the complex legal paperwork and process of a divorce. For this type of assistance, you still need an attorney.
Divorce can be expensive in any state or situation, but the complexity, exact circumstances, and exact location of a divorce are all significant factors in determining the final price. In respect to location, one study recently determined which 10 states were the most expensive when it came to divorce costs.
Illinois, though not found on that list, has seen some high-profile divorce cases over the years. It also regularly processes simple divorce cases, where there are few assets and no children. How might these additional factors impact the cost of your Illinois divorce, and how can you avoid excessive fees and expenses during your case? The following explains.
Location can be important in determining the overall cost of a divorce, but a better price indicator is the complexity of the case. Still, it is important to remember that even complex issues can be mitigated against. For example, high net worth divorces can be extremely costly, but parties can often save a significant amount of money if they divorce amicably and settle quickly. Cases involving children can become extremely complex, resulting in costly legal fees, or they can be peacefully negotiated. Interestingly enough, such methods are often child-focused, which can help to ensure the child’s best interest and bond with each parent are preserved.
Divorce is not a decision that comes easily. In fact, most people spend months, sometimes even years contemplating whether divorce is the next best step in their life. Regardless of where they are in the decision-making process, it is important that parties take immediate steps to protect their wealth and future well-being. At worst, the divorce never happens and they gain a better understanding of their finances and emotional health. At best, they are prepared and well-situated for the road ahead, which can increase the chances of a favorable outcome in their Illinois divorce.
Although many couples share a bank account, credit card, and other debts, not everyone is aware of their family’s finances. For example, you may know about how much you and your spouse earn each month, but are you up-to-date on the amount in your spouse’s retirement account? Are there any undisclosed debts that your spouse may not have discussed with you? Do you know what monthly bills are associated with the home, and which are personal expenditures? What is the worth of any businesses, stocks, bonds, or real estate held in either your name or your spouse’s?
When the clear and inevitable path for a marriage becomes a divorce, the parties are encouraged to carefully contemplate their next steps, as many of the impending decision impact the direction, dynamics, and outcome of the case. As an example, one might consider both the positive and negative consequences of being the first one to file for divorce. By doing this, parties can decide whether they should take swift action and file right away, or if they should or can wait to file (knowing that their spouse may file first) because it is a better strategy for their unique situation.
Filing first for a divorce can lead to both positive and negative consequences for the deciding party. By weighing them out, cognitively, and not allowing yourself to be emotionally-driving in your decisions, you can take a major step toward improving the outcome of your case.
Intuition can be a wonderful thing; it can be what encourages you to complete a project sooner than its due date, only to learn that you wrote down the date incorrectly but still had it done on time, or it could be the reason you end up having a much-needed item at exactly the right moment. Intuition can also feel like a bit of a curse sometimes - like when that tiny voice in your head is trying to tell you that your spouse is contemplating a divorce. If you have that nagging feeling, the following five signs can tell you whether your intuition may be correct. You shall also learn how to prepare for an Illinois divorce, should you or your spouse decide to file for one in the immediate future.
Although there are many behaviors and actions that can indicate a divorce may be on the horizon, five specific clues are almost always present in impending cases. These include:
Divorce can be a painful and difficult process for all involved parties, but children are said to be at an exceptionally high risk of experiencing long-term consequences. Child experts believe their heightened risk of complications could be attributed to the sense of powerlessness that children often feel during the divorce process.
Children typically have no say over whether their parents’ marriage continues. In fact, most are unaware that a divorce is even happening until the proceedings are well underway. They are also rarely given a say over the decisions that are made during the divorce process, yet many of them affect the child’s day-to-day life. Examples include where the child will live and go to school and the amount of time that they get to spend with each parent once the divorce has been finalized.
Thankfully, it is possible for loving parents to mitigate many of the issues that children may experience during and after the divorce process. The first (and perhaps most important step) is to ensure that you put your child at the center of every decision you make - especially if it will directly affect them in the months and years to come.
While some divorcing couples fight and argue until the bitter end, more and more parents are striving for an amicable end to their marriage. One might even go say that the decision to “consciously uncouple” has become somewhat of a trend in divorce. There are even “new” parenting time plans being used by well-meaning parents. One such example is the “bird-nesting” arrangement.
Is this type of parenting time plan a positive one for kids, or is it merely a trend? More importantly, could this type of agreement result in unnecessary harm for children of divorce? The following examines both sides of a bird-nesting divorce, and it explains how you can determine if it may be a suitable parenting time solution for your family.
When most parents divorce, one typically moves out of the house. The other may soon follow, or they may opt to keep the family home. In either case, the children may be shuffled back and forth between the two homes. In the midst of all the changes occurring in their lives, such arrangements can be daunting for children of divorce. It can also amp up the discomfort they feel while trying to adjust to their “new life.”
While some divorcing couples are able to reach an amicable agreement on the division of their assets and debts, others struggle with reaching a compromise on even the smallest of details. These cases, which are often referred to as “contentious divorces,” can cost couples a great deal of both time and money. Learn how you can protect your assets in such a divorce, and discover what our seasoned Illinois divorce attorneys can do to improve the outcome in your case.
Perhaps the best way to protect one’s self in a contentious divorce is to determine, as soon as possible, if negotiations may turn hostile. First, consider your wealth class.
Marriages with an exceptionally high net worth (typically over $5 million dollars) tend to end with little fighting, as parties recognize that peaceful negotiations are one of the most effective ways to protect their wealth. Of course, parties may still become greedy during the proceedings, or they may feel the need to be vindictive toward their former spouse. As a result, individuals may attempt to either hide or spend (dissipate) assets in order to keep them away from their spouse.
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