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With more and more family units in America cohabiting before or even in lieu of marriage, some are wondering about the effects that choice has on children of cohabiting couples. A Washington Post article criticized the practice, saying that cohabitation has replaced divorce as the biggest source of instability for families in America. Opponents of the practice maintain that the practice is a big issue for American families.
Increase in Popularity
The practice of cohabitation became increasingly popular in America in the 1970s, either before or as an alternative to marriage. In the early 1990s and leading up to now, cohabitation has become a commonplace venue within which to have and raise children. A report published in 2011 found that children were more likely to experience cohabitation than a divorce between their parents.
Many cases of divorce usually involve concern about any children who may be involved. Usually, this feeling is aimed at the children of the divorcing couple whose parents have decided to end their marriage. However, consider sympathy for children involved in divorce from another angle: parents’ concern for the welfare of their adult child who is divorcing. A recent medical article gives parents advice on what they can do to support their adult child whose marriage is ending.
Parents of a Divorcing Couple
With so much focus usually on the couple who is divorcing and their children, it is often easy to overlook the emotions of the parents of the divorcing couple. However, their concern, and even fear, about the situation is understandable and should be expected. They often mourn the loss of the marriage and may be anxious about the potential of their relationship with their grandchildren to be changed by relocation or custody orders. Many parents of divorcing couples struggle with these and other emotions, including confusion, disbelief, and sadness.
Over the years, many stereotypes have arisen about stepfamilies. From tales involving evil stepmothers to television shows depicting the perfect mix of complementary stepsiblings, it seems the public portrayal of blended families may have experienced a shift in our culture. A recent article suggests that the idea of the perfect blended family is unrealistic and that stepfamilies should be viewed in a more realistic, and less traditional, sense.
Outdated Terms
The author of the article suggests terms such as “broken family,” “co-wives,” and “blended family” are not only outdated, but in many ways, offensive. These terms promote inaccurate views of divorce, suggest strange versions of relationships, and imply ignorance about the reality of stepfamily life. All of these presuppositions, the author says, contribute to unrealistic expectation of family life and result in divorce in many cases.
Although the popular saying is that opposites attract, many couples may find that having similar beliefs and attitudes about key issues may go a long way in improving their chances at a successful relationship - especially when it comes to marriage. Now, more than ever, shared attitudes regarding money management may be an important factor for couples who are preparing to marry or who recently tied the knot. For example, two people in a couple who both share ideas about planning for the future and saving money may find a particular benefit when it comes to the issue of money within marriage.
Finances within Marriage
According to a recent news article, arguments about money early on in marriage may be one of the top predictors as to whether the relationship will last or result in divorce. This fact was discovered in a 2012 study completed by a researcher at Kansas State University. In light of this information, many couples are making it a priority to discuss finances before entering into marriage.
Many couples struggle with the decision to end their relationship. They consider if it is the right choice to make, weighing the consequences of the action and hurt feelings and sadness that will likely arise in the process. While many people may make the decision to end their relationship after much thought and reflection, a recent article suggests that others may leave the final choice about the fate of their relationship up to the random act of flipping a coin.
Approaching Problems
Two authors, Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner, recently wrote a book urging readers to approach their problems in unique ways. The book, titled ‘Think Like a Freak,’ focuses on encouraging people to start thinking about the world differently. The final chapter of the book is about the positive aspects of quitting. As opposed to the common advice regarding sticking it out through tough times, the authors instead suggest that sticking with something is not always beneficial. Instead, they say, people should quit sooner rather than later.
While domestic violence sometimes reflects an abusive relationship between two partners, it is a sad fact that many times, domestic violence reaches the entire family and affects children as well. Even if children are not the object of the abuse, the negative effects on their well-being from exposure to such conduct is undeniable. The state of Illinois obviously agrees, since the legislature takes the position that domestic violence is unhealthy for childhood development. Illinois courts take domestic violence incidents into special account when making custody determinations.
Domestic Violence and Custody Decisions
Since a good portion of domestic violence cases ultimately involve divorce and/or child custody proceedings, it makes sense that such cases receive special consideration by Illinois courts. Specifically, in custody cases in which domestic violence is an issue, courts presume that it is in the child’s best interest to not have contact with the parent accused of abuse. This includes living with the abusive parent and having visitation with him or her. It is the law that the judge must be notified at the outset of any custody case whether either party to the matter is involved in other court proceedings regarding domestic violence or protective orders.
Married couples often know their relationship is ending before any formal steps are taken to obtain a divorce. Some may suspect their spouse is about to file for divorce, while others may be taken off guard when served with divorce papers. No matter the path taken, anyone who is served with a petition for divorce has important legal rights that need protection, as well as a responsibility to participate in the divorce process.
First Things First
It is highly advisable that anyone who is served with a petition for divorce contact an experienced family law attorney to represent them. Not only can a divorce case quickly become complicated and confusing for those not familiar with the process and the laws regarding divorce in Illinois, but hiring a capable attorney ensures a party’s rights will be protected and they will have the benefit of professional representation throughout their case.
During a divorce proceeding, the parties may attempt to come to an agreement about the way in which they will divide their marital property between them. However, if they are unable to come to an agreement, or if their agreement is found to be unfair and unconscionable, it is up to the Illinois Courts to divide the marital estate between the divorcing parties in a way it sees fit. The court employs the law as a guideline in making a property determination within a divorce decree.
Equitable Distribution
Illinois state law follows the concept of equitable distribution in dividing marital property. This allows the court to make a property determination based on fairness and may not involve a perfect 50/50 split of marital property awarded to each party. The court will separate what is classified as marital property from what is considered separate property, and will equitably divide the marital property between divorcing spouses.
Domestic violence is a significant problem for many individuals, and a serious crime for offenders. It is defined as the hitting, choking, kicking, threatening, harassing, or interfering with the personal liberty of another by a family or household member. Victims of domestic violence can often secure an order of protection against the abuser as long as he or she fits into the class of persons defined as family or household members.
Order of Protection
Information on the Illinois Attorney General’s website provides that an order of protection is an order from the court that restricts an abuser from engaging in harmful acts towards their victim and is only available to household or family members. An order of protection can act in the following ways, including others:
The topic of marriage and divorce in everyday life may be more popular than one might think. Filmmaker Doug Block has completed a documentary titled “112 Weddings” set to air on Monday, June 30th on HBO. The film is dedicated to revisiting couples for whom Block shot wedding videos to inquire about the current status of their unions. The subject matter seems relevant to many people, as it is already getting the attention of some who were not even yet aware of the particular film.
The State of Marriage
The article recounts a woman who overheard Block talking about the concept of the film feeling compelled to begin a discussion with him about the state of her own marriage. It may be unsurprising and even expected that the subject of the film would capture many people’s attention, as many couples in marriages struggle to navigate them successfully. The concept of the film of looking backward and reflecting as opposed to hoping for the best in the future is particularly interesting.
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