The decision to divorce is a highly personal one - and far from simple. There might be years of happy memories that are difficult to let go of, despite how difficult things have been lately. Perhaps there are children involved, and like most parents, you are worried about how a divorce might affect them. Add in any number of the other possible variables that occur in a divorce (domestic abuse, financial disadvantages, disability, etc.), and divorce may no longer seem like an option. For others, staying in an unhappy or toxic situation might begin to seem preferable to the complex and often lengthy process of a divorce. 

Thankfully, neither scenario needs to occur, as there are options for even the most difficult situations. Of course, before one can actively seek out solutions for their situation, they must first come to terms with it. Look for these five signs in your marriage. If you have noticed any of them, it may be time to decide if divorce could be the next best step in your life. 

1. Your Partner Refuses to Seek Treatment

Relationships of all types can fail, but those that involve addiction, abuse, mental health issues, or severe illness tend to have a much higher rate of failure. Sadly, if your spouse refuses to seek treatment for any of these issues, your risk of divorce increases even further. The reasoning for this is simple: one can only live inside a toxic situation for so long. Either you leave the relationship or things or accept that things may get worse - possibly to the point of implosion. 

Divorce mediation has quickly become a popular way for parties to divorce - and not just because it offers a more cost-effective way to dissolve a marriage. Mediation also encourages cooperation and compromise between the divorcing parties, which can help to improve the overall outcome for divorcing parents, older divorcing couples splitting a retirement, and couples with a high net worth marriage. Still, divorcing parties often feel more at ease when they know what to expect from the divorce mediation process. Learn more in the following sections, which address some of the most frequently asked questions about divorce mediation in Illinois. 

What is Divorce Mediation? 

Before mediation, divorcing parties were pitted against one another and placed on opposite sides in court litigation. Sadly, this led to many poor outcomes, especially for children. Mediation works differently. It encourages the parties to compromise and come to an agreement that works for all involved parties (parents, children, and even pets). Parties who successfully reach an agreement can avoid court proceedings altogether, but if an agreement cannot be made, the parties may still address their issues in court and allow a judge to decide on the matters that are pertinent or problematic in their divorce. 

Are There Any Benefits to Choosing Mediation Over Litigation?

Mediation is often chosen by divorcing couples because it offers them a way to end their marriage faster, and more amicably. As a result, they are better able to preserve their wealth. Children are also less likely to suffer maladjustment when their parents go through a divorce, especially when parents strive for amicable proceedings and an agreement that allows the child ample time and support from each of their parents. Agreements can also be more flexible for those that go through mediation. Parents, retiring divorcees, and even high net worth individuals often find this to be a benefit in their Illinois divorce cases. 

Divorce can be expensive in any state or situation, but the complexity, exact circumstances, and exact location of a divorce are all significant factors in determining the final price. In respect to location, one study recently determined which 10 states were the most expensive when it came to divorce costs.

Illinois, though not found on that list, has seen some high-profile divorce cases over the years. It also regularly processes simple divorce cases, where there are few assets and no children. How might these additional factors impact the cost of your Illinois divorce, and how can you avoid excessive fees and expenses during your case? The following explains. 

In Respect to Divorce Costs, Complexity Usually Trumps Location 

Location can be important in determining the overall cost of a divorce, but a better price indicator is the complexity of the case. Still, it is important to remember that even complex issues can be mitigated against. For example, high net worth divorces can be extremely costly, but parties can often save a significant amount of money if they divorce amicably and settle quickly. Cases involving children can become extremely complex, resulting in costly legal fees, or they can be peacefully negotiated. Interestingly enough, such methods are often child-focused, which can help to ensure the child’s best interest and bond with each parent are preserved. 

Divorce is not a decision that comes easily. In fact, most people spend months, sometimes even years contemplating whether divorce is the next best step in their life. Regardless of where they are in the decision-making process, it is important that parties take immediate steps to protect their wealth and future well-being. At worst, the divorce never happens and they gain a better understanding of their finances and emotional health. At best, they are prepared and well-situated for the road ahead, which can increase the chances of a favorable outcome in their Illinois divorce. 

Start Paying Attention to Your Finances 

Although many couples share a bank account, credit card, and other debts, not everyone is aware of their family’s finances. For example, you may know about how much you and your spouse earn each month, but are you up-to-date on the amount in your spouse’s retirement account? Are there any undisclosed debts that your spouse may not have discussed with you? Do you know what monthly bills are associated with the home, and which are personal expenditures? What is the worth of any businesses, stocks, bonds, or real estate held in either your name or your spouse’s? 

These details, and many others, are necessary to know - not just during the divorce process, but also as you plan and prepare for your life after a divorce. Monitor this information. Track expenses and obtain copies of any financial documents you can find. Store them in a safe and secure place until you meet with an attorney, and above all else, do not let your spouse know you are preparing for the divorce process. Otherwise, money or important financial information could start to disappear. Should this occur, the overall cost of your divorce could significantly increase. 

When the clear and inevitable path for a marriage becomes a divorce, the parties are encouraged to carefully contemplate their next steps, as many of the impending decision impact the direction, dynamics, and outcome of the case. As an example, one might consider both the positive and negative consequences of being the first one to file for divorce. By doing this, parties can decide whether they should take swift action and file right away, or if they should or can wait to file (knowing that their spouse may file first) because it is a better strategy for their unique situation. 

The Pros and Cons of Being the First to File for an Illinois Divorce

Filing first for a divorce can lead to both positive and negative consequences for the deciding party. By weighing them out, cognitively, and not allowing yourself to be emotionally-driving in your decisions, you can take a major step toward improving the outcome of your case. 

The Pros of Filing First - Filing for the divorce first means having the time to carefully select your divorce team. By filing first, you also give yourself more time to gather all the documents you need, perhaps with an added bonus: a decreased risk of hidden assets or missing financial paperwork.