While a divorce decree may signal the end of the road for you and your ex-spouse as a couple, you will still remain in each other’s lives if there are children involved. Just because the marriage has been dissolved does not relieve either party of their parenting responsibility. Like it or not, there will still be shared parenting responsibilities with an ex-spouse and it is in the children’s best interest for their parents to work together amicably and efficiently.

Tips for Co-Parenting with an Ex-Spouse

It may be a challenge for parents to put personal issues and feelings aside to form a cordial relationship with their ex-spouse for the benefit of their shared children. However, divorced parents should look at this as a new start and always put their children’s need before their own.

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In Part 1 of this article, we discussed research that showed children, on average, are likely to bounce back in the long term after their parents’ divorce, as well as some factors that may inhibit this adjustment. This seems to suggest that perhaps parents may not need to worry as much about the effects their divorce may have on their children, as long as they are able to maintain some stability and appropriate parenting levels throughout the process. Read on for the rest of the research related to this topic, regarding concerns relating to adulthood and improving the chances that children will bounce back.

Later Problems

The concern with children of divorced parents is not limited to immediate problems, but also with problems that the child may experience later in life as an adult. Some previous research suggests that children of divorce experience significant problems with depression and relationship issues as adults. However, other researchers argue against this finding, saying scientific research supports the idea that most children of divorce grow into well-adjusted adults.

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Divorce can be a stressful and emotional time, particularly when children are a point of concern. While many people may be certain about their desire to divorce from their spouse, most are less sure about the effects such a decision may have on their children, and may put off a divorce in an effort to protect them. However, some research indicates that perhaps parents should not be so worried about the effect their divorce will have on their kids.

Children Likely to Recover

At the outset, it is probably safe to say that many children of divorce feel displaced and disrupted by their parents’ divorce. About 1.5 million children in the United States go through this each year. Despite this, researchers are saying that a much smaller portion of those children deal with significant problems as the result of divorce in the short or long term. In other words, children are likely to recover rapidly from any negative feelings they initially have after learning of their parents’ divorce. A 2002 study showed than many of the negative emotions children experience, including anxiety, anger, shock, or disbelief, are short-term effects. These feelings are likely to decrease or completely cease after two years, with only a minority of kids continuing to experience negative emotions longer than that.

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Every parent is probably aware of the constant struggle between home life and career. Each aspect of a parent’s life demands time, effort, and attention. With so much energy required, many parents may feel they are not spending an adequate amount of time on a specific area of their life. This situation likely affects many married parents, but may be felt even more acutely by those single or divorced parents who are attempting to maintain a home and a relationship with their children without support from a partner.

Work-Life Balance

A recent article offered several suggestions for ways to increase the amount of time mothers can spend with their children, but surely parents of both genders can heed the advice.

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Domestic violence includes acts of violence that occur between current and former romantic partners. Many different types of acts may be considered domestic violence, as a wide range of actions may cause physical or psychological harm to the victim. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States, with the statistic that a woman is beaten every 15 seconds. While its direct effects on the victim are often far too obvious, it affects all family members, especially where children are involved.

The Extent of the Problem

Many incidents of domestic violence are never reported, which makes particularly accurate information hard to come by. Still, many aspects of the problem are known. Domestic violence is something that can affect anyone, from any social, economic, ethnic, cultural, or age group. It does not discriminate based on type or nature of the relationship.

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If you are considering divorce, you may have several concerns regarding the process, including the prospect of hiring a divorce attorney. Some may be tempted to attempt the process without representation. However, doing so may prove to have several drawbacks and will likely affect the outcome of your case.

Drawbacks and Dangers

Divorce usually involves a large amount of legal documents and complicated paperwork that needs to be read and sorted through. The task can not only be an unpleasant one, but also one that not everyone is qualified to handle. At the outset, a divorce case may seem straightforward, but things can very easily take a wrong turn and become much more involved, leaving the unrepresented in way over their heads. Those parties who choose not to hire an attorney can also cause the whole process of divorce to move much slower than it otherwise would, frustrating the judge and other parties involved.

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Domestic violence is a serious issue that plagues many more people than some realize. When a person thinks about domestic violence, it is usually within the context of a romantic relationship, but the legal definition expands beyond those terms. For those who are the victims of such violence, protection is available and can be legally enforced.

Domestic Violence

Although the majority of domestic violence cases likely occur between two people who are or were romantically involved, there are other situations that also give rise to domestic violence according to law, and they deserve attention as well. In order to have a request for an order of protection granted, the person must demonstrate that they are the victim of domestic violence. For this purpose, the law defines domestic violence as:

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Often in divorce or child custody cases, the primary concern is, or should be, the well being of any children that are involved in the case. In fact, the standard the court uses to make decisions regarding custody and support is always what is in the best interests of the child. Now, a recent article suggests that establishing routines for children to follow is found to boost their social and emotional health, which would be in their best interests, and may help when adjusting to new lifestyle changes, such as divorced parents and split schedules.

Routines that Focus on Consistency

The article features a number of parents who testify to the fact that routines and providing children with constants in their lives helped them adjust to change while also teaching them to be flexible. The idea is not so much focused on sticking to a tight schedule, but rather valuing consistency that give kids a sense of security and belonging by providing them with structure and a stable environment. Research shows that this leads to kids feeling more competent and confident.

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It seems cheating is a relatively prevalent topic among couples, especially for those who are experiencing marital trouble. Different circumstances within a relationship can lead to infidelity, and cheating does not necessarily equate to the end of a relationship. Once cheating occurs, the partner that was cheated on may wonder how, or if, the situation could have been prevented entirely. While not every relationship pitfall can always be avoided, a recent article discusses a new trend that many couples are employing in an attempt to curb poor behavior, and to plan for the outcome of such an incident if it does occur.

 Lifestyle Clauses A new trend in the legal world involves adding what is known as a lifestyle clause to pre- or postnuptial agreements. These clauses typically contain guidelines for spouses to follow within their marriage. Beyond the general purpose pre- and postnuptial agreements serve regarding finances, lifestyle clauses address non-financial aspects of marriage and can cover any variety of topics. While the clauses themselves focus on behavior requirements within a marriage and do not deal directly with finances, there are often financial penalties for violating them. One of the most popular topics covered by lifestyle clauses is infidelity. Beyond emotional reasons, there are practicals reasons for including such a clause into an agreement as well. Some states have changed their divorce laws to no longer include fault, such as adultery, as a factor in calculating alimony payments and in dividing assets. Even though adultery can be grounds for a fault-based divorce in these states, the unfaithful spouse will not typically suffer financial consequences for cheating. It is important to note that any lifestyle clauses contained within an agreement must be consistent with state law regarding pre- and postnuptial agreements.  Issues Brought up by Lifestyle Clauses Some issues to consider in enforcing a lifestyle clause include how to define cheating and to what degree such behavior has to be proven. Different people may consider different behavior as infidelity. Sexual intercourse is the most obvious, but what what about sexual behavior that falls short of intercourse? What about suggestive e-mails or texts? These are issues that could potentially be addressed within a lifestyle clause, but not every situation can be anticipated.  Court Rulings on Infidelity Clauses Challenges to infidelity clauses in court have produced mixed results. Some state laws that support no-fault divorce find such clauses contrary to public policy. Other states where infidelity laws are enforceable will uphold the clause as long as the cheating can be proven and the clause does not otherwise violate state law. The problem lies with being able to prove infidelity. In most instances, hard proof of such conduct simply does not exist, or is exceedingly difficult to produce. On the other hand, the effectiveness of infidelity clauses is apparent when a cheating spouse does not want details of an affair discussed in court.  Can the Clause Prevent Cheating? Whether employing the use of such a clause in an agreement actually deters cheating is difficult to say with certainty. However, it is possible. It is more likely that the existence of such a clause will start a discussion about the issue between the parties regarding their feelings, needs, and expectations about the relationship. In short, the clause can be beneficial to the couple even if it would ultimately be unenforceable in court. It is imperative that any agreement contain a severability clause in order to uphold the remainder of an agreement in the event the court rules one provision is invalid.  Divorce Attorney If you are contemplating marriage and are curious how a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement may benefit you, an experienced family law attorney in Illinois may be able to assist you. The experienced lawyers at Davi Law Group, LLC are prepared to discuss your case with you. Feel free to contact us today to schedule a consultation.

Divorce brings major life changes along with it. Many times, those involved in a divorce must move to a new home, change their lifestyle, and even change jobs. In picking up the pieces and starting over, some may find comfort in forming new relationships. When entering into a new romantic relationship in this situation, many questions arise. You may be tempted to jump back into the dating pool, but beware. Whether you are going through a divorce or are just newly divorced, a recent article suggests that having a member of the opposite sex spend the night is a huge mistake.

 Where Children are Involved Especially in cases where a divorcing or newly divorced spouse has children to consider, having overnight guests is generally frowned upon. Children of divorced parents are likely already dealing with a host of complex issues, and handling a variety of mom or dad’s dates does not need to be one of them. If a divorcing or divorced parent want to pursue a romantic relationship, they should probably do so outside the presence of the children, no matter how old they are. Even if children are older, the example being set by parents engaging in a sexual relationship outside of marriage is not necessarily a good one.  Legal Implications For those parents entertaining overnight guests around their children while in the middle of a custody case, doing so may have serious legal implications in court. The situation may bring up the issue of cohabitation, which is especially relevant in determining child support or alimony payments, particularly if the situation is provided for in the divorce decree. This could result in one parent being financially penalized for having their romantic partner staying in their home. Entertaining multiple overnight guests may have further custodial issues regarding legal or physical custody of the children. The opposing party may try to argue that having overnight guests is evidence of poor judgment and is harming the child. Issues like this that arise between parents may lead a judge to believe that they would be unable to make joint decisions regarding the children, causing one parent to have primary custody when it otherwise could have been joint. Even if the romantic relationship involves just one partner, they may become a part of your custody case as a factor to be evaluated in the court making a custody determination. If one parent is in a relationship with someone who will be around the children consistently, they will need to be evaluated and considered in the judge’s decision.  Even if Children are Not Involved In cases of divorce where the couple does not have children, refraining from having overnight guests is usually a smart move. Specifically in cases involving control or abuse, participating in a romantic relationship while divorce proceedings are still pending or just recently ended may spark jealousy in the ex-spouse and cause a violent reaction. Further, if one spouse is still living in the marital home, the other may still have access to the residence or view it as theirs as well. If the displaced spouse discovers their ex in the marital home, it may lead to an explosive situation or to more controlling behavior down the road, even if those issues did not exist previously.  Divorce Attorney If you or someone you know is considering divorce, it is a good idea to speak to an experienced divorce attorney in the Chicago area about your options. Contact the knowledgeable lawyers at Davi Law Group, LLC today for a consultation.

Often times, when two people in love are engaged and planning a wedding, planning for a possible divorce is the last thing on their minds. Even if the possibility of a future divorce has crossed their minds, they will likely avoid taking the step of suggesting a prenuptial agreement as doing so may result in not only hurt feelings, but potentially a broken engagement.

 Many people simply do not want to consider the possibility of a divorce down the road when they should be focused on planning for a lifetime together. However, those in the legal field or people who have gone through a divorce may try to convince them otherwise.  Why Agree to a Prenup? Essentially, a prenup is a contract by which two parties set out the terms of a possible divorce before getting married. And, as a recent article states, doing so makes a future divorce much simpler by clarifying the terms in advance. Prenups can clearly set out property division between the parties to a divorce, the length of spousal support and maintenance, and support for any children that may have been born outside of the marriage. Likewise, if any children born prior to the marriage are named as beneficiaries of retirement accounts, a spouse can later challenge the designation unless they agree in a prenup to sign a waiver after the marriage. Prenups may also be considered as a back-up to a will, or as evidence of your intentions in the event that your will is challenged. If your prenup represents an agreement of terms to which your spouse has consented in advance, it makes the success of any future challenge to your will less likely.  Prime Customers Often, it is not young couples marrying for the first time who are concerned with securing a prenup. Rather, it is typically older couples who may have already gone through a divorce and are remarrying who make sure they have a prenuptial agreement this time around. Not only have many older people experienced the complications of divorce first-hand and lived through the emotional and financial burdens associated with the process, but later in life people usually have more to protect. There are situations in which one party has amassed great wealth over their adult years and the other is not as financially stable. A prenup is essentially for guaranteeing that those assets will be protected in the event of a divorce. Prenuptial agreements can also protect one partner from the debt of the other, or they can protect children from a previous marriage.  Preparing a Prenup There are important requirements for preparing a prenuptial agreement that must be followed in order to avoid the agreement later being challenged by one of the parties in court. The following are some notable requirements that must be followed for a valid prenup:

• Full disclosure of assets and debts possessed at the time of the agreement;
• Presentation of the document well in advance of the wedding date, and free of any strict deadlines. The party signing cannot feel pressured into signing the document. Both parties should have ample time to study the terms; and
• The terms contained within the agreement must not be unconscionable, or too one-sided, in light of the circumstances at the time it is signed.

If you are considering obtaining a prenuptial agreement, an experienced family law attorney in Illinois can help ensure your agreement will be upheld in court. Contact the attorneys at Davi Law Group today for a consultation.

In Illinois, there has been an increase in the number of children who die due to abuse and neglect. For the fiscal year ending in June of 2013, the number of children who passed away from abuse and neglect was the highest it has been in 30 years.  The saddest news about this total is that some of these deaths may have been avoided. An Illinois Senate subcommittee has been questioning state officials from the Department of Child and Family Services about this steep increase.  Acting director of the DCFS, Denise Gonzales, admitted that over 100 children died due to mistreatment and ten more cases are still pending.  The average per year total has been around 75 for the last 30 years. About 75 percent of the deaths were caused by accidental suffocation from infants sleeping with blankets, or with their parents or on their stomachs. In the past these types of cases were only classified as neglect if the parents were under the influence of drugs or alcohol.  Now children who suffocate while sleeping are categorized as neglect cases if it can be proven that the parents knew about the dangers of letting children sleep on their stomachs or with blankets and other items. But it was also found that the DCFS in Illinois has been suffering from a larger caseload with a smaller staff.  Although a senator asked for the resignation of Gonzales, that might not happen.  Gonzales took over when the previous head of the DCFS resigned due to a terminal cancer diagnosis.  Gonzales is still dedicated to making the DCFS better by reducing caseloads, leaning out middle management and improving the hotline for reporting child neglect. The DCFS will continue to receive tips about possible abuse and neglect that is occurring in Illinois.  If you are summoned to juvenile court by the DCFS then it is important to be prepared.  The consequences may be losing care of your children or being placed under court supervision.  Contact a skilled family law attorney in Warrenville today to review your case.

The process of settling a divorce can involve many court appearances.  In most cases, the attorneys representing each spouse will act in the spouse’s best interest.  But, on occasion, a spouse may be asked to appear in court in order to supply evidence about related issues, such as child support, child custody, or the division of property.  The following are some tips that can ensure that you make the best appearance possible. Dress for Success You only have one chance to make a first impression.  Dressing appropriately for divorce court is very important.  The proceedings of a divorce court should be treated with respect and formality. Both genders should be dressed nicely without being flashy.  Also consider covering tattoos, earrings and even leaving behind jewelry. Be Organized Make sure that you are on time for your appearance.  Being punctual is respectful manner towards a divorce court judge.  Being early can also allow you to remain calm and collected.  While the divorce might make your temper flair, be reserved with your attitude.  Your attorney can help you prepare for your emotions by letting you know what to expect as well as running through questions that may set you off. Be Honest and Brief When you are being examined in court, it is important to keep your oath of honesty.  But it is also as important to keep your answers short and sweet.  Avoid the desire to tell everything about an event or feeling that you have.  Focus on the purpose of the question and offer only the shortest answer possible.  Offering up any information that is not asked for can hurt your case and inadvertently help your spouse’s.  It is also important to remember that if you do not know the answer, then say that.  Guessing is just as bad as lying. There other things to remember while in divorce court.  An experienced family law attorney can help alleviate your stress about this appearance.  Contact a knowledgeable divorce attorney in Warrenville today.

One of the major causes of contention during a divorce is the division of property.  While a judge can control the distribution, it does not make the fighting stop.  Arguing about property division can also add a lot of time to the litigation process and more legal costs.  Since both spouses are responsible for accumulating the property of a marriage, it can be more advantageous to divide this property together as well. The first step is to create a record of what is commonly owned.  It is important to include all assets or risk the penalty of omitting property.  Then it is important to assign a monetary value to each item either together or with the help of a third party.  For items like cars, houses, and other expensive and complex assets, it will be necessary to consult an expert to value them.  Next go through the list together to find if it is more logical for one spouse to continue owning the property.  If it seems necessary for equality, the assigned values of each asset can allow a tally for each spouse. If assigning a logical owner does not work, there are other ways to accomplish a split as a couple.

• Sell the property in a garage sale and divide the cash equally to each spouse
• Use sealed bids on each asset where the highest big wins that item.  But then the losing spouse is awarded an equalizing payment.
• Use an alternating turn system where each spouse can choose regardless of value.  First pick is determined by a coin flip.  Any discrepancy in total value can be equalized later by taking debt.
• Hold an auction where each spouse bids on each item, with bids increasing by five percent to insure that bids aren’t constantly a dollar more.

If spouses can draft a property division agreement, then the divorce court can uphold it in the final settlement.  Occasionally the judge will question if an agreement seems unfair.  But the direction of a divorce attorney can ensure that the agreement is in your best interest.  Contact an experienced divorce attorney in DuPage County to review your options for dividing marital property.

Grandparents are integral parts of any family. They offer advice and insight to parents who are raising their own children.  They also can overly spoil their grandchildren with affection, attention and love.  And in some cases, the grandparents have a limited legal right to visitation of their grandchildren in Illinois, especially when the parents divorce. There are certain requirements that must be met for an Illinois court will grant visitation to grandparents.  The first is that the children must be at least one year old.  The other requirement is that one of the following circumstances must exist:

• One of the parents of the child has been confirmed to be unfit or incompetent
• One of the parents has been incarcerated in jail or prison for at least three months
• One of the parents is either dead or has been absent for the preceeding three months
• The parents are divorced and one does not disagree to the visitation by the grandparents
• The parents are not married and do not live together

Just as in custody and visitation agreements during divorce, the major deciding factor is what is in the best interest of the grandchildren. A child’s best interest can be based on their preference, the health of the child and grandparents, and whether there is any adverse effect of the visitation.  The reliability and trustworthiness of the grandparents can be seen as a major benefit for children who are missing a parent. These same rights are available to siblings of the children in question, as well as the great-grandparents. But these rights can be terminated in some cases even if a visitation schedule has been established by a court of law. For example, if the parents have given up custody to a separate party other than the Illinois Department of Children and Family Services or a foster care provider, grandparent rights may not apply. In other words, if a different family adopts the child, then the maternal or paternal grandparents will not have their right to visitation. If you are interested in petitioning for visitation with your grandchildren, then take the first step today.  Contact an experienced family law attorney in Warrenville who can be your advocate.

The current lawmakers in Washington DC have been historically slow in creating new laws.  There has been too much conflict between the liberals and conservatives on the hill.  But a new law that has been proposed looks to unite both sides of the aisle with an issue that is beyond politics.  That bill is called the Children in Families First or CHIFF Act. The bill was introduced by State Representatives Kay Granger(R-TX) and Karen Bass (D-CA).  Granger said that “every child deserves a family. Parents looking to adopt internationally are already at the mercy of complicated adoption bureaucracies abroad.  They shouldn’t have to deal with similar costs and delays here at home.  Without increasing spending, the Children in Families First Act helps loving families navigate the adoption process and welcome new additions to their homes.” Overall, foreign adoptions have declined over the years. Almost 23,000 children were adopted internationally in 2004.  That decreased steadily to below 9,000 in 2012.  There are certain reasons for the decrease as some countries do not allow children to be adopted by Americans. In other countries, the rate of domestic adoptions has increased which also means that fewer children are able to be adopted by Americans. One of the proposed results of this bill is the creation of a new bureau in the State Department whose would work with other countries to place children with families.  This would be accomplished with adoption, or family reunification or kinship care. Instead of allowing children to languish without the love of a family, CHIFF hopes to support an increase in international adoptions.  There are plenty of children that need loving families.  If you have decided that your family is prepared to love a child in need, then you should contact a family law professional who has experience in this process.  Contact a knowledgeable family law attorney in DuPage County who can help you add more love to your family.

Aspects of the divorce process often breed disputes.  The division of property can present issues if one spouse feels like they deserve more or because some assets are difficult to divide.  Children are also a sticking point in most divorce cases as it can be difficult to agree on custody and child support.  Other possibly contentious issues include spousal support. An uncontested divorce is when these issues are settled without the help of the divorce court.  Both spouses come together to agree on these issues by themselves. This process can allow a divorce to be settled quickly and for a lot less money than a drawn out court battle.  That is because most of the heavy lifting is done by the husband and wife. The process begins like any other divorce.  One spouse files the petition with the divorce court.  Then the citation is served to the other party in the divorce.  As long as the respondent agrees to the uncontested to the divorce or fails to disagree to the divorce, then the uncontested divorce can proceed.  The proposed divorce agreement will be reviewed and approved by a judge who will make sure the final decree is equitable to each spouse and follows certain guidelines for child support and the division of property. An uncontested divorce can be increasingly tricky when there are children from the marriage.  It may be easy to agree to a custody or visitation agreement.  Yet, there are things that are harder to review and agree to.  One aspect that might be missed is planning for college or other education costs.  It is also important to provide health insurance for your children, but who will pay for it is determined in the divorce. Rather than leaving anything to chance, have a legal professional guide you through your uncontested divorce.  Contact an experienced divorce attorney in Wheaton today who can verify the fairness of your uncontested divorce.

Divorce can be an emotional and heartbreaking experience for a family or individual. However, a new study, published in the Journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, suggests that individuals who have endured hardships, like divorce, are more appreciative of the good things in life. The authors of the study note, “The worst experiences in life may come with an eventual upside, by promoting the ability to appreciate life’s small pleasures.” Conducted by Alyssa Croft, Elizabeth W. Dunn and Jordi Quoidbach, their research reveals how “individuals who had dealt with more adversity in the past reported an elevated capacity for savoring.” However, of the 14,986 adult participants, those who were in the midst of a crisis reported a decrease in tendency to savor positive events. While it is natural to feel down when going through a crisis, this study confirms that an appreciation for life is built through these experiences, and that there is hope for moving on. For those struggling to heal and move on, Terry Gasbard, a licensed clinical social worker and college instructor, offers six suggestions. Gasbard’s analysis begins with assuring divorcees that it is normal to be affected by emotional reactions caused by the ending of a relationship, and that despite the divorce, those individuals are still worthwhile and do not have to allow the end of their love relationship to define their self-worth. She states, “No person can complete you.” She also suggests allowing proper time for healing and staying open to “new experiences, hobbies, or interests” that could not pursued prior to divorce. Finally, she suggests forming supportive relationships. Gasbard says, “Being with people who accept and support you can help ease feeling of rejection. Get energized by the possibilities ahead for you.” If you are struggling with divorce in Illinois, please know you do not have to go through it alone. Contact an experienced DuPage Family Law Attorney who will compassionately guide you through the legal process.

Rather than get a divorce, some married couple decide to go down the path of annulment. Annulment in Illinois is defined as “a declaration of invalidity of marriage.”  If a marriage is annulled, it is no longer recognized by the state as valid.  Rather than ending a marriage, as divorce does, an annulment essentially erases the fact that there ever was a marriage. Here in Illinois, there are only four grounds for the annulment of a marriage. They are as follows:

• A party was under the legal age at the time of the marriage and did not have the consent of a parent or guardian, or judicial approval
• A party lacks the ability to consummate the marriage by sexual intercourse (and the other party was not aware of it)
• One party lacked the ability to consent to the marriage at the time of the ceremony due to mental incapacity or infirmity or the influence of alcohol or drugs
• The marriage was not legal

In order to be considered not legal, a marriage would have had to be between people who were still married to someone else or people closely related by blood or adoption. There is a time limit for annulments depending on which ground you are basing it off of. If someone lacked the capacity to consent to the marriage at the time of the ceremony, the time limit to file for an annulment is 90 days after you learn about the problem. If one party was under the legal age at the time of the marriage, you have until that party turns 18. In the event that you discover your spouse cannot consummate the marriage by sexual intercourse, your time limit is one year. In the event that you find out your spouse was already married to another person, there is no time limit when filing for a divorce. Annulment may seem like a good option for some couples, but it is not for everyone. If you and your spouse are considering an annulment or divorce, don’t be afraid to contact an Illinois family law attorney to assist you with the process.

The effects of divorce can be devastating for any family.  For children, the massive change in their lives might temporarily lose trust with the people they count on the most.  Obviously, as children get older and more independent, a divorce is not as difficult to deal with.  As challenging as this transition can be for kids, if the parents no longer get along then divorce might be the only option.  Each parent should take an interest in protecting their kids during a divorced, which is easier if you follow some guidelines. 1. Seek an amicable resolution to your divorce Mediation or collaborative divorce processes are often easier and quicker than a litigious divorce.  That is especially the case when deciding contentious issues like child custody, child support, and other aspects that need to be settled.  Child custody, for example, is decided by determining what is in the best interest of the children.  That often means that the children will be brought in front of a judge and asked questions about their desires.  No child wants to see their parents fight for custody so seek an amicable solution instead. 2.  Keep your children out of the conflict There is a sense of uncertainty when children share time between two households.  Rather than enforce that awkwardness, seek to smooth over it.  Do not try to pit your child against their other parent or ask them for information about your ex.  Instead seek to surround them with a comforting environment and have the best time you can with them. 3.  Communicate clearly with your ex You both will need to have an active role in your child’s development if you are sharing custody.  While you might not wish to speak much after your divorce, it is essential to create a co-parenting agreement.  During a time of upheaval like a divorce, it is important for kids to have structure.  Speak with your ex about expectations, rules, and other goals that you would wish to accomplish. Before filing for divorce consider how to make it easier for your kids.  Getting the advice of a legal professional can help you overcome any concerns you may have about the process.  Contact an experienced family law attorney in Warrenville today.