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pets in divorce, Illinois divorce lawyer, division of property, pet custody, Illinois divorce attorneyAccording to a recently published article, many divorcing couples, including those of the celebrity variety, are shifting the focus of their custody battles from child custody to  pet custody.

More Common Occurrence

While people generally may expect some type of custody battle to ensue between a divorcing couple regarding their children, they are probably less likely to anticipate the same type of disputes over family pets. However, in the legal world, disputes over the custody of pets are becoming more common in connection with divorce proceedings. Perhaps this is not so surprising when one considers that people in America are spending more money than ever before on their pets, many couples who would otherwise be having children are delaying parenthood, and more and more people are forming a bond with their pets that causes them to treat the pets more like members of the family. The law is just now trying to catch up to this cultural status change for families’ furry friends.

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Posted on in Divorce

children of divorce, life after divorce, children, divorce, DuPage County divorce lawyerMany parents who decide to divorce are primarily concerned with how the breakdown of the family will affect their children. The time after a divorce is finalized will certainly be a period of adjustment, but adjusting is not always as traumatic for children as some divorced parents may fear. In fact, some kids adjust surprisingly well to their parents’ divorce, particularly those whose parents provide them with love and attention and focus on their well being throughout the divorce while keeping them shielded from conflict and anxiety.

Look for Signs

A recent article suggests the following signs show that children are coping well with their parents’ divorce:

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Posted on in Divorce

divorce, Illinois divorce lawyer, divorce trends, divorce rate, reasons for divorceIt is no secret that the divorce rate in the U.S. is high; almost half of all marriages will eventually end in divorce. Many couples make the mutual decision to divorce, while others try to save their marriage no matter the cost. However, if at least one person in the couple is thinking about divorce, it may indicate something is wrong with the relationship.

Six Signals Indicating Imminent Divorce

According to a recently published article, there are signals that are usually present to indicate a divorce may be imminent. Although there are likely many more, here are six of the the most common signs that a divorce may be in a couple’s future:

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children of divorce, childhood obesity, life after divorce, parenting, Illinois divorce attorneyParents who divorce often worry about their children’s well being throughout the process and after the family is split up. It is undoubtedly a challenging time for children and their parents. A new article suggests that one of the things parents should add to their list of concerns when they divorce is whether their child will struggle with excessive weight gain.

Children’s Weight Gain after Divorce

New research is suggesting that children of divorced parents often struggle with weight gain when their parents part ways. A study was done of 3,000 kids in Norway in the third grade, which found that boys were especially prone to weight gain in connection with their parents’ divorce. the study found that boys of divorced parents had a 63 percent higher chance of being classified as either obese or overweight than boys whose parents were married. The same group was found to have a 104 percent higher chance of being abdominally obese.

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Posted on in Divorce

divorce, life after divorce, stress, DuPage County family law attorneys, Illinois divorce lawyerThe breakdown of a couple’s marriage is usually a difficult experience to endure. Divorce can involve a total lifestyle change for those involved, not to mention the many feelings and emotions that it can bring up. A recent article suggests ways to cope with the unsettling and painful feelings that often accompany divorce.

Moving on After Divorce

One thing that most people probably agree on is that divorce is often hurtful, no matter the reasons or circumstances surrounding it. Divorce not only causes feelings of loss and disappointment, but also brings with it a disruption of routine and other relationships, as well as uncertainty about the future.

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Posted on in Divorce

divorce, divorce basics, uncontested divorce, Illinois divorce lawyer, DuPage County divorce attorneyMany people are probably familiar with divorce terms like “no-fault” and “uncontested,” but may not be sure how these legal phrases interrelate and what they mean for practical purposes. Read on for an overview of Illinois divorce law, and a breakdown of these and other familiar terms.

Grounds or No Grounds?

Initially, when making the decision to divorce and end a marriage, the reason for the divorce must be included in the legal pleadings. Spouses either have grounds for the divorce, or they may wish to divorce based irreconcilable differences (no grounds). Grounds are considered reasons for the divorce, while irreconcilable differences indicate the couple cannot point to any accepted grounds, or reasons, for divorce.

Grounds for divorce include:

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cohabitation, divorce, marriage, Illinois divorce attorney, family law in DuPage CountyIn the past, conservative views about what constituted appropriate action on behalf of a couple prior to getting married dominated public opinion. Everything from living together to premarital sex was frowned upon. While some people may still hold these views to some extent, there has definitely been a shift in what couples are doing before getting married these days, and a new study says it’s not nearly as bad as many previously thought.

Cohabitation Before Marriage

A recently published article discussed not only the prevalence of cohabitation before marriage, but whether it has any real effect on the success of the marriage once it occurs. Over the last five decades, it is estimated that the rate of couples who live together before getting married has increased by about 900 percent. Two-thirds of marriages that occur today are between couples who have already lived together for 31 months, on average. Previous studies indicated that couples who lived together before marriage were 33 percent more likely to divorce than their counterparts who waited to live together until after the marriage ceremony took place.

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children of divorce, child of divorce, Illinois divorce lawyer, Illinois family law attorneyIn Part 1 of this article, we discussed research that showed children, on average, are likely to bounce back in the long term after their parents’ divorce, as well as some factors that may inhibit this adjustment. This seems to suggest that perhaps parents may not need to worry as much about the effects their divorce may have on their children, as long as they are able to maintain some stability and appropriate parenting levels throughout the process. Read on for the rest of the research related to this topic, regarding concerns relating to adulthood and improving the chances that children will bounce back.

Later Problems

The concern with children of divorced parents is not limited to immediate problems, but also with problems that the child may experience later in life as an adult. Some previous research suggests that children of divorce experience significant problems with depression and relationship issues as adults. However, other researchers argue against this finding, saying scientific research supports the idea that most children of divorce grow into well-adjusted adults.

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Posted on in Divorce

sickness, health, divorce trend, divorce rate, Illinois divorce, lawyer, DuPage County divorce attorneyDivorce does not discriminate: it can touch any couple, at any age, whose marriage has lasted any number of years. It seems that divorce is becoming more and more common, and the circumstances surrounding any particular divorce are never really shocking. Now, it seems the very vows that are present in so many marriage ceremonies are quite literally being broken. According to an article recently published by TIME, a new study suggests that sickness may trigger divorce.

The Study Researchers at the University of Michigan studied 20 years of data on 2,717 couples, of which at least one of the partners was over the age of 50. Their findings included that 31 percent of marriages involving one sick partner end in divorce. Further, they found that the risk of separation for couples who were older was higher when the wife was ill as opposed to the husband. A portion of the numbers showed that as many as 75 percent of couples who are addressing chronic illness will divorce. Specifically, researchers looked at diseases like cancer, heart disease, lung disease, and stroke and their impact on marriages. In total, 31 percent of the marriages ended in divorce. While men were the more likely partner to be sick, the rate of divorce was higher among couples where the wife was sick. Reasons for the Findings The above referenced study is not the first to publish such findings. Though it is not completely clear why the divorce rate among couples dealing with illness is so high, there are a number of theories about the statistics. One such theory is that social expectations about caretaking make men feel as though they are not qualified for the task. In couples that do divorce, it is typically the woman who initiates it, leading some to believe that it is perhaps women who feel that their husbands are not providing enough support, and choose to depend on friends and family instead. In these cases, wives may originally ask for a divorce as a direct result of their health status, which often requires them to need additional care and services to avoid worsening health and increased costs. Some say that integrating couple’s therapy into hospitals’ programs may be beneficial to married couples facing serious disease or illness. Divorce Attorney Couples of all ages make the decision to divorce for any number of reasons. No matter what situation you find yourself in, if you are considering divorce, it is best to consult with an experienced family law attorney who can advise you of your options and rights in light of your particular circumstances. Please feel free to contact the knowledgeable attorneys at Davi Law Group, LLC today for a consultation regarding your matter. We serve clients in our Chicago, Wheaton, and Warrenville offices.

Posted on in Divorce

sick, flu, contagious, divorce, is divorce contagious, family law, DuPage County family lawyerThe decision to end a marriage is usually not an easy one to make. Often, couples must face a number of difficult decisions when deciding to divorce, especially when children are involved. Outsiders may wonder what happened within a marriage to cause divorce. While any number of factors can and usually do play a part in a couple’s decision to call it quits, a new study is suggesting a surprising factor that may play a larger role in an impending divorce than one may realize. According to a news article recently published by CBS 2, the divorce of a friend or loved one may increase a couple’s chances of getting divorced as well.

Divorce is Contagious... Just like the flu, a new study from Brown University is suggesting that divorce may also be contagious, and could put anyone’s marriage in danger. According to the study, which was comprised of data from thousands of people over three decades, the divorce of a friend or loved one may increase that person’s odds of also getting divorced. The findings included that one was 75 percent more likely to get divorced if one of their friends were divorced. Further, an individual was 33 percent more likely to divorce if a friend of a friend obtained a divorce. The trend seemed to end when considering the divorce of a couple three degrees removed. Researchers involved in the study called the findings a social contagion, which indicated the spread of information, attitudes, and behaviors through friends, family, and other social circles. …Or is It? Some are saying that it is not divorce itself that is contagious in such situations, but rather it is the emotions that are tied to the divorce that can be contagious. In other words, those who are constantly around other people who are in unhappy relationships may tend to look at their own relationship more critically. Others were not so sure of the theory, saying the tendency to let other’s emotions have such a significant impact on one’s own shows a lack of maturity and that a friend or acquaintance’s unhappiness should not influence another individual’s marriage. There are ways to avoid letting the divorce bug infect another couple. It is advisable not to compare the situation and circumstances of a friend to one’s own, since usually, the connections are not found in reality but are rather imagined or created. Often, such comparisons and associations are simply not realistic. Divorce Attorney If you find yourself in a situation in which divorce seems like a likely option, it is best to discuss your case with an experienced divorce attorney. The attorneys at Davi Law Group, LLC can advise you after listening to the facts of your particular case. Please contact us today for a consultation. We have successful experience representing clients in Cook and DuPage Counties, as well as surrounding areas.

DuPage County divorce attorney, Illinois divorce lawyer, divorce lawyer, attorneyIf you are considering divorce, you may have several concerns regarding the process, including the prospect of hiring a divorce attorney. Some may be tempted to attempt the process without representation. However, doing so may prove to have several drawbacks and will likely affect the outcome of your case.

Drawbacks and Dangers

Divorce usually involves a large amount of legal documents and complicated paperwork that needs to be read and sorted through. The task can not only be an unpleasant one, but also one that not everyone is qualified to handle. At the outset, a divorce case may seem straightforward, but things can very easily take a wrong turn and become much more involved, leaving the unrepresented in way over their heads. Those parties who choose not to hire an attorney can also cause the whole process of divorce to move much slower than it otherwise would, frustrating the judge and other parties involved.

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Posted on in Divorce

divorce stress, divorce tips, DuPage County, family law, family lawyer, family law attorney, divorce lawyerDivorce is a painful process--legally, financially, and emotionally. Considering the immense strain placed on involved partners, it is important to consider some tips for coping with the pressures of divorce.

Dealing with Stress When dealing with a divorce, it is helpful to keep in mind the following:
  • Take Time to Mourn - Divorce is a type of loss. The family and living situation you once had is no more. Recognize that it is perfectly normal to feel a mixture of emotions, such as anger, confusion, regret, and loneliness. Give yourself some time to heal.
  • Keep Physically Fit - Divorce can lead to stress, anger, tension, anxiety, and a host of other toxic feelings. A physical fitness routine can be the best medicine for such ailments. Exercise regularly. Plan regular trips to the gym. Even going on a 20-minute walk can do wonders for your well-being. Do anything that gets your body moving. In addition to exercise, be sure to eat healthy and nutritious meals, and make sure to get an adequate amount of rest.
  • Use Your Social Network - Divorce can take a serious toll on your emotions, and spending time with your friends and family can be a healing balm. Do not be afraid to reach out to your loved ones to discuss your feelings and struggles. Surround yourself with positive people. It is not unusual for friends that you and your spouse shared to take sides in a divorce. Understand that you may lose some friends through the ordeal, but you can start now to build a support system of people who care for you and who can help.
  • Find Helpful Hobbies - Many individuals going through a divorce find relief in picking up old hobbies that they used to enjoy, or venturing out to discover new interests. Finding things that you enjoy can be a great source of happiness and healing.
  • Do Not Make Decisions Under Duress - One of the challenges in going through a divorce is the need to make decisions that will have long-term effects, even for the rest of your life. The decisions include matters dealing with finances, family homes, custody arrangements, and the like. It can be challenging to think clearly when handling the emotional strain of a dissolving marriage. Try not to make such important decisions when in the throes of distress.
  • Seek the Help of Skilled Professionals - Understand that there are trained professionals with the skills to help you through a divorce. A skilled attorney can be a trusted advisor who will not only help you understand your legal rights, but also aid you in making the difficult decisions mentioned above. In addition to legal advisors, many divorcing individuals find it helpful to talk to a therapist. Some therapists even specialize in helping people that are facing divorce.
Illinois Family Law Attorneys If you are considering divorce and have questions about how an Illinois court will deal with your property and children, it is vital that you contact a skilled lawyer. The attorneys at the Davi Law Group, LLC are dedicated to helping individuals involved in divorce proceedings understand their rights in Chicago, Wheaton, Warrenville, and many other nearby communities. Contact us today to learn more.

divorce, DuPage County divorce lawyer, Illinois divorce, divorce rate, divorce trend, reason for divorceA new theory is being tested to curb the divorce rate among newly married couples. In light of the statistic saying almost half of married couples divorce in the first four to five years, many professionals are asking what can be done to improve that number. A recent article suggests that the answer may be easier than one may think.

Watching Movies

One researcher is exploring the possibility that a task as simple as watching a movie with your spouse may curb your chances of divorcing. He has been asking couples to watch five movies per month that have a theme of exploring relationships and then discuss the movies with each other. The idea is to strengthen marriages while couples are happy with the relationship, which, ideally, would improve the odds against getting a divorce. The model suggested offers couples the opportunity to essentially participate in a form of therapy on their own, while also taking part in an activity they would otherwise find enjoyable.

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divorce records IMAGEFew legal matters are more sensitive and personal than a divorce. The breakdown of a marriage and the decision to separate is often made after months or years of reflection and personal struggle. Yet, it is important to remember that divorce is a public act. Just as a marriage itself is a public affirmation of a relationship (with attended benefits and obligations under the law), the dissolution of that union requires going to court and having official action taken. As a result, most of the divorce details--at least all items filed with the court--will likely become public record.

 Court Records & Divorce

Divorce records are no different than criminal records, foreclosure proceedings, or any other matter involving the Illinois civil or criminal justice systems. In fact, an Illinois law titled the Marriage, Dissolution, and Invalidity Records Act specifically charges the Illinois Department of Public Health with “registering, indexing, and preserving records” of marriage and dissolution of marriage. The law further charges the department with crafting online and offline systems to manage these records and make it easy for anyone--from journalists to your neighbor--to view those records.

 Importantly, these records may include more than just bare facts about when a marriage was dissolved and who was involved. Instead, many different documents filed with the court can be accessed. For example, it is not uncommon for tawdry allegations and embarrassing claims to be made in heated court battles surrounding property dissolution, child support disagreements, and custody disputes. Illinois has a long history of divorce records being made public in high-profile cases. For example, during now-President Obama’s run for U.S. Senate in Illinois in 2004, his main primary opponent was a wealthy businessman named Blair Hull.  Hull was actually leading in most polls up to the election before journalists began publishing information found in his divorce papers. In Hull’s case, the divorce papers were actually sealed, but the pressure of the campaign caused him to release the records. The allegations in the documents ultimately caused him to drop in the polls and lose the elections. In rare cases a judge can order divorce records sealed from the public. However, there must be a compelling reason for this request, and a simple preference to keep thing private is insufficient. In most cases, records are only sealed for the protection of children, when domestic abuse is involved, or similar cases where private damage concerns outweigh the public right to open records. Also, certain sensitive portions of a record may be sealed (like financial information) without the entire record being withheld from the public.  Get Help Understanding that divorce records may be made public, it is imperative to act prudently in keeping the separation civil. An experienced divorce lawyer can advise you on the best ways to both advance your particular interests while attempting to maximize privacy. For help with these matters in DuPage County and many nearby communities, please contact the Davi Law Group today.

Posted on in Divorce

Filing for divorce is one of the most stressful events a person can experience. In some cases, ending a marriage can cause psychological damage. Fortunately, there are several things that you can do to make the process easier and healthier for everyone involved. divorce IMAGEMany respond to the end of a marriage with grief and anger, or feelings of fear and anxiety. These feelings often catch you off guard. As you proceed through your divorce, it is important to be compassionate and kind to yourself. Try to avoid thinking of your divorce as a battle. Write down details and questions to ask your divorce attorney when you’re calm so that you will remember them later. It may also be helpful to develop a script of sorts for face-to-face communications with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. This can make things easier when you have to meet to discuss details, whether in court, or an alternative dispute resolution meeting. If there are children involved in the relationship, it is important that you do your best to keep conflict away from them. You need to come up with a plan for talking to your children, and talk to them together with spouse. Be honest and open with them in order to keep the lines of communication open, and give them plenty of notice before big changes like moving, or your spouse moving out. Following the divorce, try to minimize large changes for at least a year, and allow them to maintain close contact with their other parent. It is important to remind young children that the divorce is not their fault, and that both parents still love them. Finally, take care of yourself. It can be easy to let your personal needs slide during the stressful time, but it is imperative that you do not do so. If necessary, enlist the help of your family and friends. You may also consider seeing a therapist, or enrolling in a support group. Divorce isn’t something that anyone looks forward to, but it is possible to have a healthy divorce. Contacting a qualified Illinois divorce attorney can help. We can ensure that the process goes as smoothly as possible.

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Planning to marry after a divorce is usually a joyous time. Before jumping in and saying “I do” for a second time, however, there are some important steps you should take in order to ensure that your marriage can beat the odds and last for the long-term. second marriage IMAGEAccording to the American Psychological Association, there are three key issues that couples need to address before remarrying after a divorce:

  • Resolve feelings about previous marriages – before marrying your new partner, it is important that you have addressed any lingering emotional issues from your previous marriage. This is true for both potential spouses and the children that may be involved. Children may act out when they hear that a parent is getting remarried, feeling afraid of betraying their biological parent. Ex-spouses may resurrect old issues in order to cause problems for the new couple when a remarriage is announced.
  • Financial arrangements – Before taking their vows, couples should agree on a financial budget and decide on things like how costs will be split and where the couple will live. Many couples chose to move into a new home after remarrying in order to make a new family home. Couples should also discuss whether bank accounts will be kept separate. The APA reports that couples who share accounts often report higher marital satisfaction.
  • Prepare for parenting changes – When children are involved, the couple should spend some time discussing the role the stepparent will play in the care and education of their new spouse’s children. Any potential rule changes should also be thought out and discussed between both the couple and the stepchildren. Children may begin to respond differently to a stepparent once the couple marries.

If you are considering filing for divorce, the first step you should take is to contact a qualified divorce attorney. We can help ensure that the process goes smoothly so that you can move on and find happiness once again.

Posted on in Divorce

 life after divorce IMAGEDivorce can be an emotional and heartbreaking experience for a family or individual. However, a new study, published in the Journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, suggests that individuals who have endured hardships, like divorce, are more appreciative of the good things in life. The authors of the study note, “The worst experiences in life may come with an eventual upside, by promoting the ability to appreciate life’s small pleasures.” Conducted by Alyssa Croft, Elizabeth W. Dunn and Jordi Quoidbach, their research reveals how “individuals who had dealt with more adversity in the past reported an elevated capacity for savoring.” However, of the 14,986 adult participants, those who were in the midst of a crisis reported a decrease in tendency to savor positive events. While it is natural to feel down when going through a crisis, this study confirms that an appreciation for life is built through these experiences, and that there is hope for moving on. For those struggling to heal and move on, Terry Gasbard, a licensed clinical social worker and college instructor, offers six suggestions. Gasbard’s analysis begins with assuring divorcees that it is normal to be affected by emotional reactions caused by the ending of a relationship, and that despite the divorce, those individuals are still worthwhile and do not have to allow the end of their love relationship to define their self-worth. She states, “No person can complete you.” She also suggests allowing proper time for healing and staying open to “new experiences, hobbies, or interests” that could not pursued prior to divorce. Finally, she suggests forming supportive relationships. Gasbard says, “Being with people who accept and support you can help ease feeling of rejection. Get energized by the possibilities ahead for you.” If you are struggling with divorce in Illinois, please know you do not have to go through it alone. Contact an experienced DuPage Family Law Attorney who will compassionately guide you through the legal process.

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