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Divorcing the Narcissist - 5 Tips to Protect Your Mental and Emotional Well-Being

Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce lawyersWhile any divorce can be complex, emotional, and acrimonious, few cases escalate quite as severely or quickly as those that involve the narcissist. Manipulative, charismatic, and calculating, they will do almost anything to “get even” with the spouse that wants to divorce them. Learn how to manage such a situation, and discover how our seasoned lawyers can help protect both you and your children during your Illinois divorce

1. Start an “Armageddon” Fund Now

Any divorce can become costly, especially when the divorcing parties struggle to find common ground. When it comes to the narcissist, there is no common ground; there is only retaliation and manipulation. As such, anyone divorcing a narcissist should plan for a costly and lengthy divorce. The narcissist spouse may also attempt to freeze or stop all funds. 

Start saving for armageddon now and you can avoid a lot of financial stress once you do start the divorce process. Just be certain to divulge to your attorney that you have stored money away for your own protection. Armed with that knowledge, they can add those funds to the pool of assets to be divided in the divorce without you being at risk for “stealing” assets. 

2. Gather Pertinent Documents Before You File

When divorcing the narcissist, it is best to have the element of surprise on your side. Do not divulge your plans to divorce, and be sure to gather copies of all pertinent documents before filing with the courts. These may include: 

  • Tax returns (at least three years);
  • Bank statements;
  • Retirement account statements;
  • Documents related to the purchase of property or real estate;
  • Registration papers for any vehicles;
  • Life insurance policy documents;
  • Superannuation account documents;
  • Marriage certificate;
  • Birth certificate (for you and your children);
  • Recent pay stubs for both you and your spouse;
  • Documents pertaining to any and all lines of credit (mortgages, student loans, credit cards, etc.);
  • Photographs and appraisal quotes for any valuable items;
  • Frequent flyer mile numbers; and
  • Any other shared documents related to your finances, marriage, or children. 

Keep copies in a secure place, preferably outside the home where your spouse cannot find or access them. Provide your attorney with additional copies so that they have the information they need to start working on your case. You might also want to upload the documents to a cloud account so that they are remotely stored, just in case your spouse should find the originals. 

3. Practice Self Care

Even the most amicable of divorces can leave parties feeling mentally and emotionally drained. This effect is often heightened for the spouse of a narcissist. Practice good self-care. Spend time with friends and family, lean on your support system, and do things that energize you. 

4. Seek Additional Help and Support

You do not have to brave the narcissist alone. In fact, there are numerous resources out there to help you with the process. Hire an accountant to help you with the financial aspects of your case. Consider going to therapy or a support group for emotional support. You can even hire a divorce coach to help you manage the day-to-day changes in your life. 

5. Get Legal Help Early On

The aid of a seasoned, competent lawyer is absolutely critical when divorcing the narcissist. Not only are they able to walk you through each step of the divorce process, ensuring you do not make a costly or critical mistake in your case, but they can also provide you and your children with protection against the narcissist. Restraining orders, emergency custody orders, and more can be filed by your lawyer. They can also help to anticipate what your spouse may try during proceedings, providing you with even further protection in your Illinois divorce. 

Contact Our Wheaton Divorce Lawyers

If you are tired of dealing with the games and manipulation and want out of your marriage, contact Davi Law Group, LLC. Our skilled DuPage County divorce lawyers always strive for the most favorable outcome possible, and we will aggressively protect your rights and financial stability. Call 630-580-6373 and schedule your personalized consultation today.



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