Children and Divorce - Keeping Everyone Happy During the Holidays

 Posted on December 16, 2019 in Visitation

Divorce can be difficult for children at any time of the year, but the holidays tend to be especially trying. Thankfully, parents can usually mitigate much of the stress, simply by being loving, responsible parents. Need some tangible solutions for your family? Try these tips for keeping everyone (yes, even your ex) happy during the holiday season. 

Make Sacrifices but Avoid Being a Martyr 

Children should never have to make sacrifices for their parents. Instead, it should be the parents making sacrifices for the sake of their kids. Whether it is giving up time with them to allow time with your ex’s family or simply avoiding altercations and arguments when your spouse is being combative, putting in extra effort can go a long way toward ensuring your child feels both happy and loved during this holiday season. Just be sure to avoid the martyr syndrome; your child does not need to know the efforts you have made. Instead, simply let them reap the reward. 

Get Into the Spirit of Giving 

The holiday season is all about giving. So, whether it is allowing your ex to keep the kids on both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day to avoid an argument (and working it out later) or simply taking your child to choose a gift for their other parent, the more you give, the less stressful the season will be for your child. 

Feel Free to Celebrate Separately 

Parents who are newly separated or divorced sometimes feel obligated to try and celebrate the holiday together. Some do it in an attempt to preserve family traditions. Others fear that separate holidays might upset the kids or make them feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, a combined holiday may not be the best option for your family. In fact, some may do far better if they celebrate separately and allow the children to have time with each parent, separately. As such, parents should feel free to establish new holiday traditions - especially if celebrating together could cause unnecessary stress or arguments. 

Never Use the Holidays to “Get Even”

From arguing about holiday pick-up and drop-off times to competing with gifts and purchasing “off-limit” items, parents will sometimes use their child to “get even” with their spouse during the holiday season. Some do it intentionally. Others are unaware of their sins but make them, nonetheless. Avoid the temptation and the pitfalls. Respect your ex’s requests when it comes to price limits and off-limit gift items, and above all, never use your child’s visits as a way to hurt your spouse. The impact it could have on your child could be both negative and lasting. 

Contact Our DuPage County Family Law Attorneys 

If your family is in the throes of divorce during this holiday season, get seasoned and experienced assistance with your case. Contact Davi Law Group, LLC, where your child’s best interest is both prioritized and protected. Call 630-580-6373 and schedule an initial consultation with our Wheaton parenting plan lawyers today. 

Source:

https://childmind.org/article/divorced-for-the-holidays-what-to-give-the-kids/