5 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After an Illinois Divorce

 Posted on September 28, 2018 in Child Custody

While some couples are able to completely end their relationship with a divorce, others must continue to interact with one another because of the children they share. This new relationship, a process that is more commonly referred to as co-parenting, continues (at least) until the child turns of age. How you navigate it - not just during the divorce, but long after - can make a massive difference in how your child adjusts to the new structure of their family. Increase your chances of success by using these five tips for successful co-parenting, and discover how a seasoned divorce lawyer can help improve the outcome in your Illinois divorce. 

1. Keep Your Child Out of the Divorce 

Though children are inevitably affected by the divorce of their parents, they should not be privy to all the details of the case. It is a personal and financial matter between adults who wish to end their relationship. The child’s relationship with each parent usually continues, however, so long as it is in their best interest (which it usually is). Allowing them to overhear details could taint the child's perception of the other parent, and that could ultimately create maladjustment issues for them. Alternatively, if you lean on your child and overshare details with them, you could potentially harm your child’s relationship with not just the other parent, but yourself as well. Avoid such issues by ensuring you keep your child out of the divorce as much as possible. 

Do not argue with your spouse when your child is nearby, avoid phone conversations when your child is around, and be sure to make sure your child is not within earshot when speaking to friends and family about the divorce. If asked directly about the divorce, be honest with your child but only share as much information as necessary. 

2. Do Not Give Your Child False Hope

Children of divorce often wish their parents would get back together - sometimes even long after the divorce has been finalized. Unfortunately, if you allow your child to believe that there is a possibility that you will work things out, you could give them false hope over something that is extremely important to them. Instead, be honest with them about the situation. If it does eventually appear as though you and your spouse will reunite, it is advised that you do not discuss this matter with your child until things have been completely resolved.

3. Allow Your Spouse to Parent Your Child in Their Own Way

One of the most common mistakes that co-parents make is to assume that things have to be completely the same at both houses. However, this is not completely plausible. While, yes, you want your child to have the same base rules (i.e. no friends over when grades are poor), no two people parent exactly the same. As such, it is recommended that you resist the urge to push for complete consistency from one house to the next and, instead, focus on allowing your spouse to parent and love your child in their own way. 

4. Communicate Effectively and Always Plan Ahead

It can be difficult to communicate with your spouse - especially when you are still in the midst of legal proceedings. Yet communication is essential for successful co-parenting. Parents can often avoid squabbles and misspoken words by communicating strictly through email, text message, or the internet. This allows each to read and analyze their words before they hit send. Additionally, parents will want to work hard to plan ahead for important. things, such as who will pick up the kids from softball practice if there is an emergency. 

5. Keep the Focus on Your Child’s Best Interests 

At the end of the day, the thing that matters most is your child’s happiness and well-being. Focus on this while navigating your divorce, and during the months and years that follow, and you can dramatically increase the chances that your child will eventually adjust to their new life. In fact, there are some cases in which children do better once their parents separate because the stress in the home is decreased. However, it can be difficult to keep your child at the center of divorce when you are trying to handle everything yourself, so instead, consider hiring a seasoned divorce lawyer to assist you with the process. 

Contact Our Wheaton Divorce Attorneys 

At Davi Law Group, LLC, we protect and preserve the best interests of children. Seasoned and experienced, our DuPage County divorce lawyers can assist you in developing a parenting plan that hopefully satisfies the wants and needs of all involved parties. Schedule your personalized consultation to get started. Call 630-580-6373 today. 

Source:

https://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2018/07/10-essentials-of-co-parenting-after-a-divorce/